Monday, September 15, 2008


Still not really over it.

I got in countless fights with my family while I let my emotions get the best of me; fights on things like the television being on something really mind-numbing, or on people leaving my door open when leaving the room. I swear, I nearly back-handed my sister when she said I didn't have to act this way just because my friend died.

I've also been fasting involuntarily. I just am not hungry, which works out, because all of a sudden, I can't stand the sight of myself in the mirror.

And then today, I woke up and wanted to post a birthday greeting on his wall (yes, he died two days before his birthday), I get there and find that his Facebook profile has been removed. I nearly freaked. I, as well as others, have been talking to him on there regardless. I told Panda that it was gone and he called me on Skype and we talked and I felt a little better after he suggested I send him a birthday prayer in my head instead. Plus he just knows how to cheer me up. Double plus I was trying to be serious and my hair was sticking up on webcam like Alfalfa which caught me off guard.

Anyway, my friend told me that his girlfriend came on and removed his profile as well as hers...

Charlotte Gainsbourg song on repeat tonight.

It's all just fucked.


Nouvelle Fag said...

i'm so sorry for your loss. i just wanted to say something to let you know my thoughts are with you xx

DeeVine said...

Oh kara...

I never know what to say because does saying anything make the feeling go away?
I wish I could give you a real hug..

It'll be alright in time... x