MAN OH MAN

Man oh man, as in, I'm totally in the shit this week. It kind of just fully kicked in that classes start next Monday. 590 page novel to read by then, which my dad brought back today for me, from his flight to Canada. At last. I was beginning to think I'd have to white lie/bullshit my way through the first 'Developing the Novel' lecture.

I thought today would've been a really cool day...Somehow, I haven't even got enough spare change to buy me a grande something at Starbucks, and just sit there with this...book. It's already like 7pm and all I've done is comb all the hair off of my head, marvel at it through the teeth of my comb and take a scalding shower (no baths this time. That would require sitting and staring at a wall, begging myself not to think about life).

My room is clean but my brain is trashed. I've run out of Prozac for the time being and have yet to break my fast today. Not hungry. There is that lingering suspicion that I might just go back to bed, which means another eerily quiet nothingness with myself at stupid o'clock later. I am in no man's time zone.

I've gotta start thinking about how I'm getting all my stuff back to England, starting by sifting through the ridonculous amount of products/cosmetics/toiletries I was given during my internship from the magazine's beauty cabinet upon my departure. I can only probably fit about half of it. I must make myself a lab rat this week and see which ones are my bare essentials, like, oh I dunno, toothpaste and deoderant?

I'm also really bummed because I might not see my mom before I set off for Senior year. Last I saw her was maybe 2 months ago, when I left her in Trinidad to go visit Panda in L.A. I don't know what kind of relationships you guys have with your mothers but mine is my ultimate homegirl (if I ever had such a thing). And it kinda sucks not being able to see her for the next couple (possibly several because I might stay and work in London for christmas) months.

Sigh...whatever...I'm tired ranting now. Lethargic and lackadaisical as fuck. I'm just going to get back under these here sheets now (so lucky I have that option, yuh know, of turning the covers on life. Reality is gonna suck).