AND MY HEART-SHAPED GLASSES AINT EVEN ON

READ IN ITS ENTIRETY. you owe me that much.

"Dear Kara,
I am very pleased to be able to inform you that CHILDREN has won a place in our final, and has been selected for publication in our on-line magazine, ROEHAMPTON WRITES. LOST was longlisted, but ultimately unsuccessful.

We would like you to read the piece at the Creative Writing Day Soiree, December 17th, event beginning 6pm.Congratulations! We are very pleased for you, and as your teachers, very proud of you.

So what next?
There are three points that we would like you to be aware of:
1. The work will be first published in an upcoming 2009 edition of ROEHAMPTON WRITES. This means that the work should not be published anywhere else before we publish it. By responding to this email you accept these terms.

2. That a member of Creative Writing staff may enter into an editorial process with you, to make sure that the work is ready for publication. For the moment, the piece is absolutely fine for reading on the night.

3. That in order to read, you MUST attend a performance workshop, December 17th, 9.30 - 11.30, QB252 to prepare you for the evening performance. We want you to feel comfortable and confident on the night.

Please do get back in touch with me. Any questions are very welcome.
Best wishes,
Leone Ross
PS. This is the formal proforma. On an informal note: you go, girl. You know you hot!"

There is nothing better than reading that after you slave away all day perfecting your essay and article due for submission on Tuesday and after having eaten a FAT tuna pasta salad that you made and ate straight out of the pot in its entirety, which then made you feel like investing in a lifetime of anorexia. My weekend is going to therefore inevitably be heights. This is now making its way around the internet starting with my immediate friends and family. FAMILY! HAH! What a word. If it weren't for my family having this awesome air of fucked-up-ness and choosing to squeeze me out all placenta dribbling straight into the chaos, then this story would not have been possible. Of course you'll get to read it in 2009.

LOOK MOM! I'm happy! No alcohol included!