PINKBERRY AND PINK CHAMPAGNE

 My mom is preparing to meet the queen this weekend so I'm over at her's again messing around in her closet.

 Cheap no name wayfarers, polka dot head tie, lace dress - H&M, thrifted bag, neon slippers bought over the weekend at Dragonmart; this never-ending story of a chinese outlet mall in Dubai.

 Wanted to show you one of 6 options I put together for her for the soiree but they're not uploading...so...oh well. I guess this is yet another personal outfit post.

miss my old room...

It just dawned on me that I am sporting a coca cola addiction so severe right now that last night when I discovered that there was no fizzy in the house at an ungodly hour, I got dressed with the intention of downing as many free glasses of coke as possible at ladies night at my favourite neighbourhood club. Word. 

Right now, really craving kushari (even if it sounds like a cheap drug, which, I guess it is), reading Rope Burns by FX Toole for my fight training (the book to Million Dollar Baby) and looking for my stretchiest skinnies to go boarding with the bros tomorrow (woop woop! Haven't skated in like forever!)

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

EIGHT DAYS A WEEK

LAST NIGHT! WOW! Like..what did you get up to? Anyways this is me stirring this afternoon.

I've really taken to cat ears since not being able to get over how cute Jessica Stam looks in that one Nina Ricci perfume ad?

So it's going to be part of my 'signature' accessories collection this year (fuck, I'm seriously turning into an anime character)

MUMMYYYY!!!! I know a lot of people go partying at some club with friends and make out with strangers in plaid shirts while sloshing Pabst/Red Stripe all over everyone for their NYEs but I honestly prefer being with my fam for it (well, this time the bro and sis hit up that Rihanna concert, which I heard was a snore). We used to throw the biggest parties back home on our lawn for hundreds of people and wear fancy dresses and drink champagne and light fireworks - I miss that...


DRUNKENNESS!!! It's so nice to see her happy again because her mother died on Boxing Day and I've been nursing her and trying to make her laugh with back to back Little Britain (Rest In Peace, Mama - we love you)


Outfit deets...(and speaking of...one of my bloggerly NY resolutions is to post more of what I wear because I've always been intimidated by that since there are so many straight fashion bloggers out there doing stellar jobs already. I don't like to think of this blog as strictly fashion but I do think it would make it more homey and personal if you saw more of me, yeah? I'll try.)


My dress cost 25. American. cents. at. this. gay. people's. yard. sale. and. my. mother. doesn't. want. you. to. know. that. but. what. kind. of. blogger. would. I. be. if. I. didn't. share. that. wackness?

HAPPY NEW YEAR AND ALL THE BEST WITH YOUR RESOLUTIONS! About to go write in my new journal, discuss business plans, eat leftover salmon and re-play last night. Love you all.

PS. Apologies to anyone who was offended by the 'thinspo' reference in my last post, but honestly I'm not in the blogosphere to support/mock/help any anorexics/bulimics (I was pro-ana AND ana myself back in the day and I know that trying to help someone who doesn't want to be helped is useless so do what you like, I don't care). What I really want to say, in the nicest way possible, is that in my personal space, I say it like it is and those photos were honestly inspiration for me to maintain skinny-ness. But...for what it's worth, ANOREXIA/BULIMIA IS BAD!

PATCHIN' THAT SHIT UP

So I got a lot of great gifts this year; things I actually didn't know I was getting too (which is rare). But one thing I expect to receive from my parents without fail every year is some sort of self-help book or two. It's fascinating.

So this time around I got 3:
-The 5 Essential People Skills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others, and Resolve Conflicts (honestly, I think my dad and I should go through this one together)
-God Explained in a Taxi Ride (I admire their persistence with this God thing, really)
and Skinny Bitchin'

which I picked out myself, of course. I've read their other bitchy books and learned a lot of really good bitchy stuff about being skinny and cooking skinny, so now that I'm skinny, I figured I needed to learn how to work it, so I put this in my skinny stocking. It's like an annotated journal chock full of skinny bitch advice. Let me share some:

Know this and be okay with it: Not everyone is going to like you.

Feeling sorry for yourself? Have at it. Bask in your misery for a solid fifteen minutes. But then get it together and cut the shit! Life's too short. Deal with what's ailing you and put it behind you.

Are you a pussy? Stand up for yourself today. Are you a bully? Be gentle today.

Get your fat ass off the couch and go to the gym, go for a hike, or go ride a bike. Push yourself today (in a healthy, safe way)

If you are or have ever been a doormat, journal about it. By the time you're done writing you better be a fucking goddess!

You know that guy you've been obsessing over for 3 years who's just not that into you? He's an axe murderer. So thank the universe for looking out for you and move on. Make a list of all the things you know suck about him (but were unwilling to admit yourself).

Seriously, by far, the coolest thing about Madonna: She does whatever the fuck she wants and never apologizes for it. Find your inner Madonna today and see how long you can keep her around.

Are you estranged from a family member or friend? Write down what happened to cause the rift from your side, then approach it from his or hers. Then ask yourself: "Is it more important for me to be right than to be at peace?" If the answer is yes, you're a jackass. Patch that shit up!

SHAKE APPEAL

I don't fucking know why this always happens to my 14 year old sister (and I wish she would stop!) but before getting a knock on the door yesterday afternoon (2 hours before showtime), my sister was pining over the fact that she didn't get a ticket for The Killers playing at Emirates Palace last night. Yet all she had to do was be home to answer that door because when she did, it was the demure Filipina living opposite us giving away a free ticket they received and didn't plan to use. THEN when she got there and had the best time (she described the show as 'Coldplay amazing'), her friend dropped 2 tickets to this in her lap, which my brother and I were about to buy tickets for the very next day. So now, we're spending the day busting our asses to buy her a ticket out of gratitude. I'm also working from home today (doing a week's worth of freelance work with a new mag here in the UAE), so I thought I would take a minute to post something (or re-post something I wrote and LOVED for Bitching and Junkfood...and which I think matches well with the rave-type event I'll be attending this weekend, thanks to my hooked up sis.


...that being THE MOTHERFUCKING HAIR in this Testino shoot for November's UK Vogue! I'm on it.

And for those who asked, my grandmother isn't getting better (and she won't) but she is still alive and coping. Thanks for your concern.

THE CLOSEST I'VE BEEN TO A BAR WAS AT BALLET CLASS

So my mum and I picked up this Sophisticated Ladies blues compilation (Eartha Kitt, Peggie Lee, Ella Fitzgerald, Billie Holiday, Nina Simone etc.) yesterday and have been listening to it all night while draping an upside down Christmas tree (pictures to come). Neither one of us could sleep a wink and are back up 4 hours later listening to it again, cackling and staring at our glittering tornado creation. The album is hauntingly lovely and swanky and all but there probably isn't a hint of sophistication in it save for their voices. Pretty fucking interesting lyrics that I need to make a note of for some printed t-shirts. And you know if I'm thinking of doing that, it's not good.

Ummm...so what's been going on...? Well, my dad's 50th is tomorrow (but we don't have to worry too much about him because he already got himself the mid-life Porsche he wanted and he will simply pretend to like whatever spa treatment certificate and jazz compilation we give him, then speed off into the sunset). And my mum is getting into her frazzled yule-tide mess as she threatens to fall off ladders decking the house out in every piece of glittery/shimmery substance it can take. Mind you, it looks stunning upon finale but by Christmas Eve, we would have reached critical mass and never wanted to hear from Christmas ever again, the way she goes about this thing... (someone always throws tantrums on Christmas Day). Me? I'm not too much of a fuss anymore as long as I make exemplary ponche creme to toast with and get a tricked out smoked salmon and egg breakfast the morning of.

Okay...what else? Well, I'm slowly on the mend, although I'm not sure being back on Prozac is going to contribute much to that (but it doesn't hurt). I don't sleep or eat much and I take 9 mile stationary bike rides set on a strenuous fitness program without even breaking a sweat. My hair's grown pretty long without me even realising it...and at a time when I'd like to cut it like a boy or shave the sides (but that would be cliche). I'm a 2-day Academic Writing teacher who's, what I like to call, Moving Forward/FWD (Functioning With Depression) and who wants to pierce her left nipple. That sums it up beautifully, with a hint of TMI. But with breasts like mine, I thought you'd want to know ;p (Is there a safe way to get this done in the Emirates?). And back to lesson planning.

I'LL FINISH THIS SHIT THIS MONTH, DAY TEN

Those are real lyrics in this heading from C.S.S...which is awesome because I turned 20 yesterday, which was the 10th. Albeit spending an hour of the 'great' day every year since I turned 18 bawling and wriggling in bed (I'm acting like that's eons), I had a great birthday this year.

My fam took me to dinner at Sho Cho, this trendy Japanese restaurant and bar at the newly opened Shangri-La Hotel in Abu Dhabi. I don't know what it is with other regions apart from Japan and California, but everyone else just LOVES to put sushi and its tasty counterparts on a very high pedestal that's labelled 'Too Exotic for the Average Consumer' so let's just say I have the bill as a souvenir. What's also very funny about that is that the best sushi I've ever had was at this little diner-esque place in Anaheim with flourescent lighting and one little old lady who pretty much knew you by name. And, without exaggerating too much, the size of their rolls could almost easily be compared to that of a child's fist. Look at your fist. Awesome, huh?

The food at Sho Cho certainly isn't something to do back flips over or anything but I wasn't having any other cuisine for my birthday and there are like 5 Japanese restaurants in the country, so it more than did it for me. The unagi (eel) put me to bed a happy little lady that night. I was still 19 then though.

As for my actual birthday, I took whatever I could get. Knowing nearly no one out here my age but flight attendants, I let this really great Filipina girlfriend take me out and show me her side of Abu Dhabi night life. I first ended up at a comfortably weathered bar called 'Blue Bay' and, because I knew what was soon to come while walking up those steps and hearing thumpy Latin music, I ordered a beer before I found her. I. CANNOT. DANCE. Yes, sure I can keep time like nobody's business and do the occasional Shakira or some wriggly alternative, and I can grind you to the floor (I mean, come on, I'm Trinidadian. Carnival is a profession.), and I'm no stranger to moshing/headbanging, but Latin is not my shit.

But you know nice people. Nice people like to smile and chide you on and suggest RIDICULOUS things and drag you up on stage to make you learn a shaky step or two (RIDICULOUS THING!). So new guy friend Marlon did so and at first, I think he had to do a double take to make sure he wasn't dancing with a mop but then my feet sort of came to an agreement and saved me for a couple minutes. Filipinos are the nicest people in the world, you know, really, but it was a bit heart-flourishing to bow at the end of the song and look up and see a sea of them clapping for the lost little black girl. Tragic, really.

They took me to another spot called Cinnabar at the Hilton; a roomier alternative with lots of cornered seating so I took a corner and cheered them on. Good for them. Then we took a taxi to Cheers because some life savers wanted proper club music (I didn't think it was possible to have a Filipino back me up and suggest that, but I guess anything is possible with them once dancing is involved). Cheers was closed for a private event so we ended up at an overpacked place called Arkadia; live Fili band performing everything from commendable Bob Marley to 'okay-sure-why-not' Britney Spears, cheap drinks (actually free...because I'm ...hot?) and a good DJ. I smell like a burning building this morning but I had a good time.

AMAY-HAY-ZING gifts to show you later on in another post but I have a carrot cake to blow out, a suitcase to pack, an essay to polish and send off, an appointment, a souvenir list to tick off and one more day to cuddle my dog so, I'll be on my way now.

The past few days have been productive, maybe even fun at times, but stagnant, hence the lack of inspiration and motivation to string together a decent post

beer and popcorn moments with my bro laughing our way through 90210, white dog fur EVERYWHERE, my socks getting ripped up (luckily they were a free pair from my last flight), walking in dog piss, head-to-head job letter writing sessions and CV updating with my mom, 3 attempts among the family to get together and watch Australia, struggling through the ridonculously thick 'Shantaram', helping eat an entire home-made carrot cake which was supposed to be for my birthday, thinking about sushi, compiling a list of prospective magazines to work for in the U.A.E, U.K. and U.S. and watching Zara break the fashionable core of my heart repeatedly with long fur zippered jackets, biker jackets and americana-esque coats.

Now, after having a seriously lacking convo with a tired and cranky boyfriend across the globe on Skype (please wake up shiny and new, my love!), I am cocooned in layers watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And she just said, "I'm 16(was she really??!!!) years old. I don't wanna die." While I am doing this, my mom is on her way to get a mammogram and my sister is going to check and see if she has mumps. My brother's just in school tackling girls.

It's not even noon. fuck. me.

The best way I know how to wish you Seasons Greetings and all that; through X. If you're fortunate enough to be in San Francisco for the holidays, check them out at Slim's on the 26th and 27th. I've been listening to 'Motel (In My Bed)' non-fucking-stop these past few days, along with these other random particulars:

Sex on Fire - Kings of Leon
Bella's Lullaby (the official one in the movie) - Carter Burwell
Nausea - X
Baby's on Fire - Brian Eno (finally watched 'Velvet Goldmine'; yeah, what a loser)
The Movies - Alien Ant Farm

I am in Abu Dhabi again, celebrating the holidays with the fam. Apart from that, I should be reading all the books on novel writing and book proposals that I lugged over here in my suitcase, and working on my essay and novel. But I am playing with our cute new dog Rigby, whom I call Ecstasy because if Ecstasy were a dog...not kidding.

I'm also tempted to call up my friend Sweetie to hit up the clubs on this end of the world (Suet Yee - flight attendant chick who I met while travelling with my dad and his crew to beijing; we hit it off pretty well...the times she wasn't serving me on the flight, that is). But I know all that'll happen today is one bulging bout of laziness with a bit of alcohol, sporadic reading with an absence of an attention span and one huge bath (I smell like dirty dog), and maybe old school Tom and Jerry in the wee hours.

Last night, after a ridiculous Christmas dinner (my mom gets carried away this time of year) I stayed up til 7am and washed dishes with her and we talked about the inevitable: after college. I told her I wanted to move to Cali and live with Panda. She's gonna help me apply for jobs and all that. She also gave me a little cash to put into a savings account to save up for my 'future'. This is sort of MUCH easier than I thought. And that's because we haven't yet consulted the other side: the dad.

Anyways! Panda's on Skype so I shall leave you to fiddle with yesterday's gifts and my Limewire to boil up some Mastodon, Satyricon and like ALL the tracks from the ABSOLUTELY AMAZING (like tears streaking my face amazing) 'Hedwig and the Angry Inch', which I should really give its own post soon, along with some other decent movies I just saw. (Don't worry, Twilight isn't included).

I know. Absence. Chill out for a bit. I am officially on vacation after a gruelling last day yesterday where I ran around volunteering to host our uni's Creative Writing Day then had to get all dolled up in someone else's flat for the soiree where I performed my first reading. Went well. But, of course, I was on stage, so I can't tell you what the reception was like. There was a whistle somewhere in there, and a girl in a nice hat who said the piece was 'absolutely lush'? And there were 32 bottles of free wine. So that was that.

More from me soon, when I am done vegetating in bed with a box of orange juice. But for now:

-whoever this sexy-backed bitch is, well, firstly, she knows how to dress to save lives and she nicked my back art. A friend of mine also asked permission for it. But, it's all good. I'm movin' on to my next big ink project soon.

-look out for a big ass picture post of my christmas wish list..whenever I feel like..

-R.I.P. Bettie Page. Funny how she only just became a recent fashion icon of mine what with my newfound interest in fetishism and sexiness and all that...

-speaking of which, the inescapable bondage workshop was heights. And I decided that if there was such a thing (is there?), I would get a PhD in Japanese Rope Bondage. It's beyond gorgeous and I class it as an intricate work of art rather than sleaze. Got tied up myself. Pictures soon (possibly). Plus I got to chill out with Chanta Rose and watch male submissives roll around on the floor in their wife's panties trying to get themselves undone because their mistresses wouldn't untie them. fun.

-Joshua Idehen is a demi-god of the spoken word scene who performed at our soiree last night. He has a buncha poetry/spoken word/music stuffs going on that I can't seem to pinpoint but start here if you're interested in that sought of epic mess, and check him out sometime.

-some lovely family have just flown into London and I just got invited out to dinner at Carluccio's tomorrow, then to sleep over at their chic South Ken temp. pad (sigh...my life). Carluccio's is one of those italian musts in the city. They're one of those good ones that have like 8 things on their menu because they specialize in them? Yuh know? With that said, visit...

-Going to finally see that Twilight movie next week with my cousin Becks, as we are one of the only few people in our usually very intellectual and tasteful circle who are hopeless fans. No one else would dare utter the words 'One ticket to Twilight' so we're forced to accompany each other. Not even my 13 year old sister would utter it apparently. How much lamer am I going to get?

-Then fly home on christmas eve and vegetate some more, but in better weather, with a free gym, running track and pool, a bigger comfier uncollegiate bed, home cooked food, parental hugs, new white puppies, reading FOR PLEASURE, and the list goes pleasantly on...Very excited and fingers are crossed and chafing that I get into business or first class again this time. That would be a great end to a taxing semester and THE BEST christmas present. Has anyone been in business/first on Etihad Airways? HM! Well, let me just say they are the national airline of Abu Dhabi (the richest city in the world) and they cater to the every need of its ridiculously deep-pocketed Arab community. And my dad flies captain for them. You get me? Good times, good times..

-and, just so I don't get harassed, the above picture of A REALLY GOOD IDEA is from the Garbage Dress blog, which is a good fashion read, actually. x

AND THEY COME AND THEY CALL AND THEY CRAWL ON THE FLOOR

I changed my layout.
I like.
My dad just came in and told me that flights to London are full for Friday.
I'm thinking Saturday instead of Thursday, I told him, because I really wanna see my mom.
She's coming in on Thursday morning.
"I really wanna see her before I leave because I might not be coming home for Christmas."
"Well, I won't be paying for your ticket to L.A. either."
So, anyway, I was thinking of staying back in England to earn the money I would need to pay back grumpy people like him, and nice people like Panda.
Plus I would also want to have a little spendage once I graduate next year.
But I didn't tell him that.
I'll wait til he gets the envelope during the Holidays, the lousy old fart.

SOMETHIN' LIKE A PHENOMENA

I don't really know what's overcome everyone at the house but...




...it sure is one big ball of juicy love sinigang mix. I woke up from my nap and smelt the most amayyzzzinng thing from the kitchen; hardly likely since my mom, AND DAD, aren't here. But turns out it was likely. My 13 year old sister is all whipping up this amayyzzzinngg pasta. I love her. I fuckin' do. She's got that shock factor. Also, my brother came back from hanging out at Fuddrucker's (sp?) with some of his friends and decided to stop off and bring us home this Toblerone pack. As a result, totally satiated right now and ready to completely wind down and close off the night with a scalding bath and some Skullset.

Currently (weird mix tonight):
You're Lost Little Girl - Siouxsie and the Banshees
Don't Give Up - Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush
Paint it Black - Rolling Stones
Siamese Twins - Siouxsie and the Banshees and Robert Smith
Rock Lobster - B52's
The Party - Justice ft. Uffie
The Boy Who Destroyed the World - AFI
I'm Burning for You - Blue Oyster Cult
L'un Part L'autre Reste - Charlotte Gainsbourg
Pas de Deux (The Nutcracker) - Tchaikovsky

I'LL FOLLOW YOU INTO THE DARK

Hey guys,

Today is World Blackout. I don't think it's an official thing but some guy in Buenos Aires put up an event for it on Facebook and it seemed like a fun idea. Turn off your lights for 10 minutes, wherever you are between 9:50 and 10pm on Wednesday 17th September. I just had a good laugh in the dark with my sibs (I guess darkness brings people together). Anyway, it all depends on what time zone you're in. And since I'm ahead of most of you, being in the Middle East and all, just thought it wouldn't be too late to get you guys in on it too. Of course, you're welcome to save the world for more than 10 minutes, if you wish. I decided to prolong it by lighting some candles in the bath and just chillaxing in there. Fun stuff.