Tuesday, May 19, 2009


Okay, so the plan was to sell this.


I wouldn't have picked that dress for it, maybe some body-hugging crap but couldn't be arsed to wade through my shit for the fifth time today (friends came from far and wide for cups of tea and to scope out my goods). Sale still going strong, and you're thinking, well how come you aren't advertising on here?!, well it's because at the end of the day, all the great things of mine you see on here ain't hardly gonna end up in your grubby hands. Everything else I own is kinda shit. And I feel that my friends can accept that more. There's a lot of fucking peer pressure in the blogosphere. I seriously feel like I'm wearing a pale green, straggly-hemmed pleated uniform, brown loafers, frilly socks and a training bra again. I just never quite made the cut back then. So why should here be any different?

Should I? Shouldn't I? I'm thinkin':
Arabic airport bag searches in June, parental unit sighs, fashion of the sore thumb variety among a sea of sun-kissed summer sluts in cut-offs, tanks and Havaianas (is there room for this in California? Are they ready for this? Can you still drink Corona and wear this? I hope so...) Oh Panda...We'll get dressed for a night of clubbing and then he'll drop me off at the club and look for parking for 2 hours. ORRRR he might like it...But what if he likes it a little too much...? I'm not really into submission.

Speaking of submission, my slave called me the other day saying he was thinking about me a lot over the week (nooo) and that he wants to see me at the next not-to-be-mentioned-here members only fetish night. At the time I was all up for having a slave, and totally let him enjoy himself saying how much he wanted to pamper me, and sitting on my lap while i patted his head, but when it really comes down to it, I'll have a middle-aged man dressed as a woman cooking me a pasta in halls, then retreating to my room to paint my toenails. Can anyone else see where the temptation dies and dies 7 more times afterward? Anyway, as much as he's such a nice guy, I don't even really have the time to see him before I leave now.

So my friend the Vegan came back from visiting her boyfriend in Indiana (what??) and decided to stop by to check out my stuff. She loved everything, tried on everything, said she'd take everything, then didn't. Excerpted conversation:

tV: Oh my god, you're my shoe size. Cool. I love these shoes. My boyfriend doesn't like me being taller than him though. But whatever, I tell him I'll wear high heels if I feel like. *puts shoes back*
tV: This belt totally makes this top soo much better! If I don't get anything else, I'm definitely taking these.
Me: Awesome. That's a fiver.
tV:*hands over money* Wait. Is that belt leather?
Me: ...I really don't know.
tV: *sniffs belt, long pause, sniffs again* I think I'll pass.

Anyways, last night was fun. Mistress Ivy spent the night after a pretty shit yoga session that incorporated chinese take-away. So we vowed to wake up early and did another session before she left for work. Last night we checked out half naked pictures of my favourite models Tasha Tilberg and Omahyra Mota (particularly this shoot) and found out 3 years too late that we had the same taste in music and both couldn't find someone to accompany us to the last UK Korn tour. She got a job as a librarian yesterday and is passing up on coming to California this summer, which means no dream team clitoris carnage *mopes* But still very excited about Abu Dhabi with her. We also talked about threesomes. She told me to read The Ethical Slut. Look out for us on the 29th ruining Soho (as if that were possible) all dressed up and dining at Garlic and Shots, then pulling girls at her friend's lesbian bar.


Anonymous said...

Holy shit, Garlic and Shots is real? A friend tried to take us there once and got us completely lost. We were wandering around Soho for hours and my boyfriend ended up drunkenly trying to buy drugs from an obvious crackhead, who then chased us into a nightclub and hung around outside for ages. Salad days.

And obviously I think you should sell the harness. To me. Ha!

Kara said...

dude, yeah. i was asking my friend abt all-garlic restaurants in London. I knew they had to be one somewhere because I had the best date at one called Stinkin' Rose in San Fran. Every major city should have one. Expect to stink the next 1-2 days though.

About the harness, yeah, shitshitshitshitshit, I'm thinking, man.

Nouvelle Fag said...

fashiontoast is fug and dresses like shit, i don't know what the fuss is, hand the betch a SLICE of toast i say.
your blog is a berjillion times better and so hilarious. i like the idea of having a slave but only a SUPER attractive one that licks my shoes and let's me bash 'em around a bit. tell him "shove your pasta, and the whole trannie thing doesn't really work if you're built like a brick shithouse." lmaooo ahh i'm in a REALLY antagonistic mood as you can probably tell...

Nouvelle Fag said...

OH ps what's this about clitorii? EW! you're not on the turn are you?

Kara said...

i met this one slave that licked the soles of my shoes but he was bald and looked like that muscly bald guy on kitchen and toilet cleaning products. and yea, I have a thing for Mistress Ivy. *blush blush* haven't liked a 'real' girl in a while.

P.S. I'm really liking this antagonistic mood

Kara said...

I hate my life sooo much