HEAVY, HEAVY, HEAVY

Inspo & Thinspo full stop

Being such a lazy ass cut & paste blogger right now, I know. Very demotivated, unproductive and horny these days but I'm hoping the arrival of 2010 should sock me in the gut or something...

So anyways, this is a really good fucking blog and it literally just started up, so go away...but come back soon.

PATCHIN' THAT SHIT UP

So I got a lot of great gifts this year; things I actually didn't know I was getting too (which is rare). But one thing I expect to receive from my parents without fail every year is some sort of self-help book or two. It's fascinating.

So this time around I got 3:
-The 5 Essential People Skills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others, and Resolve Conflicts (honestly, I think my dad and I should go through this one together)
-God Explained in a Taxi Ride (I admire their persistence with this God thing, really)
and Skinny Bitchin'

which I picked out myself, of course. I've read their other bitchy books and learned a lot of really good bitchy stuff about being skinny and cooking skinny, so now that I'm skinny, I figured I needed to learn how to work it, so I put this in my skinny stocking. It's like an annotated journal chock full of skinny bitch advice. Let me share some:

Know this and be okay with it: Not everyone is going to like you.

Feeling sorry for yourself? Have at it. Bask in your misery for a solid fifteen minutes. But then get it together and cut the shit! Life's too short. Deal with what's ailing you and put it behind you.

Are you a pussy? Stand up for yourself today. Are you a bully? Be gentle today.

Get your fat ass off the couch and go to the gym, go for a hike, or go ride a bike. Push yourself today (in a healthy, safe way)

If you are or have ever been a doormat, journal about it. By the time you're done writing you better be a fucking goddess!

You know that guy you've been obsessing over for 3 years who's just not that into you? He's an axe murderer. So thank the universe for looking out for you and move on. Make a list of all the things you know suck about him (but were unwilling to admit yourself).

Seriously, by far, the coolest thing about Madonna: She does whatever the fuck she wants and never apologizes for it. Find your inner Madonna today and see how long you can keep her around.

Are you estranged from a family member or friend? Write down what happened to cause the rift from your side, then approach it from his or hers. Then ask yourself: "Is it more important for me to be right than to be at peace?" If the answer is yes, you're a jackass. Patch that shit up!

YOU CAN NEVER BE SURE WHO YOU'RE GONNA END UP NEXT TO

Hi.
I had a shockingly good Christmas.
I smell of Virginia Slims and boy.
Also, in the morning...

...I made feeble attempts to test this shit out. I'm gonna let it tangle and rot and hopefully I'll soon have one very cute dreadlock. I've been very inspired by neon, braiding, and fictional tribal existences like Pandora in the movie Avatar, so my 2010 style is coming together to that effect...with the ever present black, leather, sheer and drapey bits, but also with more epaulets and S&M. Approach if you dare and I'll probably shoot you then lick the gun.

Anyway I'm going to start collecting daggers like I always wanted to as a child. I'll probably also try to learn Arabic, lose more weight, stick to this no-carb thing as long as possible, get a job at a magazine, find great guilt-free sex, start working on my two business projects and be very very smoking fucking hot. New Year's Resolutions, anyone?

Oh, and to make up for the last post, these two songs are seriously stuck:

Seriously...no one can touch Juliette!

I DON'T WANNA BE FRIENDS

Dear Dirty Reader,
I hate to do this to you...really...

...but it just won't. Fucking. Budge. And. I've. Been. Stomping. Around. My. House. Zombie. Style. And. Nonsense. Ga-ga-lore...

...she should hire sexy submissives (a la Gwen's Harajuku Girls)...stripper slaves...yeah...(oh, pick me, pretty please).

TAKING IS THE NEW GIVING

Christmas 09 by thelonelylondoner

Just some of the things I might want to receive (or have) this year, not including pilates classes at Soma, a hula hoop, money for my Philippines trip, a nipple piercing, a tattoo or 2, gift certificates at Zara and Topshop and A LOT OF OTHER THINGS! But feel free to click for details if you see something you'd like to get someone last minute though. I'll probably do another one of these because dreaming trumps everything else I'm doing right now (which is why I haven't been blogging).

SHIT, it's been a minute! How you been? My grandmother's visiting for the holidays and has taken over my room so I now room with my 14 year old sister. I also got offered a small gig for the next couple weeks and was turned it down a couple days later due to them finding someone with more experience last minute (hence twiddling my thumbs madly while waiting for this other pay check to come in). I also became a chocolate junkie over the last few days without even realising it which, while having a one to one moment with my stomach today, we realised is due to my severely limited diet of no meats or carbs, because I have NEVER been one of those chocolate frenzied women - in fact, I don't usually eat it at all. So shit's been a bit lame on this end, which is why I'm happy to have Into the Wild, Almost Famous and back to back CSI on Show On Demand on our TV right now, as well as a newly bought bottle of Absolut Rock (featured above) which I bought in Duty Free on my way back from Trinidad.

OH! And my mother and I are thinking of starting a business! I don't know...we have a wild idea (that's not really so wild, but more than doable) and I'm not going to fuck it up by saying anything just yet so I hope this Polyvore set will suffice for now until I'm back in top form.

AND WELCOME TO NEW FOLLOWERS! I would advise you otherwise but I no longer give advice - whatever floats your boat.

THESE COLOURS DON'T RUN

Some Drop Snap inspiration I had on my desktop for a while. Swirl these babes into one beautifully complex being and you'll get what I've been aiming to dress like recently.




But sometimes it's just so damn hard to get out of these Vans and hoodies.

LIKE A FLASHBACK

Been a while. I've been around...

biking along the waterfrontwith my brother

admiring 'Our Father Zayed'
and boats
and drinking muscle builder shakes with peanut butter and whey protein in it
and running from the rain
and chowing on sashimi salads
and raving like a resident disco rat (Creamfields was amazing!)

Looking...pretty damn good, I must say. One of my favourite things to do these days is examine myself naked, and I'm thinking of becoming a naturist once I get my own place haha. I'll tell you, though, it's been no easy fate - 10 mile bike rides and yoga everyday, plus I banned carbs.

Reading...the same damn Murakami novel because I've been so fucking busy

Living...in an apartment building surrounded by insane levels of murky water (our one day of rain a year turns the nation into fucking Atlantis

Working...freelance for a beauty mag that's just starting up here, and writing a couple features here and there for some other folks

Listening to...totally in a raving state of mind after Creamfields (Calvin Harris, Deadmau5...) and pretty much anything thumpy I can cycle to for 45 mins straight on my 10 mile rides.

Drinking...pure green tea, iced chai tea lattes, pure melon juice, nai cha, and the occasional can of Heinekken.

Watching...not much, but Persepolis was on earlier and I think that's a decent movie. Otherwise, we're all mostly stunned by the floods downstairs and have been filming it all day.

Smelling of...chlorine and Garnier Fructis products

Eating...anything but carbs

Dreaming of...the wildest dream I had recently involved me getting matching nipple piercings and being boob cuddly with my 'girlfriend' Rihanna (I swear, I'm not even attracted to her so I don't know what that was about but I called my ex to tell him as soon as I woke up because I thought he would appreciate the gesture)

Wearing...Vans and my favourite dirty black skinnies, hoodies and leather (can't be arsed quite often these days and these pieces never fail)....or workout clothing

Trying...not getting insanely trashed when I socialize (so far so good)

Wanting...everything that Bona Drag and Alex and Chloe are stocking is on my Christmas list this year. I've been dreading a Christmas wishlist blog post because that content is too hot (and expensive) to handle.

SHAKE APPEAL

I don't fucking know why this always happens to my 14 year old sister (and I wish she would stop!) but before getting a knock on the door yesterday afternoon (2 hours before showtime), my sister was pining over the fact that she didn't get a ticket for The Killers playing at Emirates Palace last night. Yet all she had to do was be home to answer that door because when she did, it was the demure Filipina living opposite us giving away a free ticket they received and didn't plan to use. THEN when she got there and had the best time (she described the show as 'Coldplay amazing'), her friend dropped 2 tickets to this in her lap, which my brother and I were about to buy tickets for the very next day. So now, we're spending the day busting our asses to buy her a ticket out of gratitude. I'm also working from home today (doing a week's worth of freelance work with a new mag here in the UAE), so I thought I would take a minute to post something (or re-post something I wrote and LOVED for Bitching and Junkfood...and which I think matches well with the rave-type event I'll be attending this weekend, thanks to my hooked up sis.


...that being THE MOTHERFUCKING HAIR in this Testino shoot for November's UK Vogue! I'm on it.

And for those who asked, my grandmother isn't getting better (and she won't) but she is still alive and coping. Thanks for your concern.

HOT AND COLD AND STRANGE ALL OVER MY DAYS

I don't even remember if I told you that I was running off to Trinidad for approximately 4.5 days because of my severely ill grandmother. I decided the day before my mother was leaving that I wanted to go. It took us 2 days to get here, taking 3 flights via New York and Miami, so understandably, I didn't give a fuck about blogging and that should explain my absence. Half-hearted apologies while I feed my fragile, inert mama, finish up student pedagogical cards, maintain inebriation by night with half a million cousins, burp half a million new baby relatives and work on my Skin Two feature. Have some pictures of lunch at House of Jaipur (fantastic tearoom and store specialising in goods and fine gifts from Jaipur, India), and a good day.