DIE AND GO TO HEAVEN

There's no denying I've been a bad blogger, and all I have to say about it is that it has recently been drawn to my attention that I am a workaholic...so much so that a couple weeks ago, I ordered some scrambled eggs from the cafe at work on my way into the office, paid for it, ran up to get set up on my Microsoft Word, swore I collected it 15 minutes later when it was ready, ripped my way through it with glee and was told the day after that it was still there in a bag behind the counter waiting for me. Now if I've been working so hard that I'm imagining eating things (and doing god knows what else - shitting? fucking?), then I should be catwalk ready and bound by now, but bulges one through seven on my stomach suggest otherwise. 

Today, however, for some miraculous reason, they've let me off early - Tuesday is print day so we typically listlessly roam the office hallways well past 8pm waiting for fuck-ups to pop up on the printer and wondering if anyone would miss us if we skipped over to the hotel next door for a shot of tequila. So here I am..for you. But where the fuck are you? No more Japanese spammers, please! I want actual reader commentary!

Fuck, I'm a mess. I have actually been forced into accepting that a holiday is long overdue for me. Susan Miller has foreseen a few days of rest for me this month. Umm, really? Where? Apparently, it's this weekend so I am now grumbling as I book myself and The Fox in for a retreat. 

Other things I'm doing: hardcore hatha yoga by candlelight (found an amazing teacher), plastic bottle recycling (or rather I have a heap of bottles under my bed pretty much getting the same treatment as regular waste, AND I am now being referred to as the girl with the drinking problem at work (probably a double entendre) - people are sneaking empty bottles onto my desk while I'm away on one of my overly long leaks), carpooling, home finishings shopping, obsessing over this article and feeling more and more pointless with every paragraph.

And now instead of enjoying the softness of my fat ass as I sit on it doing nothing (which I never have the liberty of doing on a Tuesday), I am going to go to the gym, then walk (not carpool) over to yoga class. See you on the skinny side.

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

CHARLOTTE SOMETIMES

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

EASTERN GLOW

This is where I work. Beautiful, isn't it?

One thing I seriously adore about this city is that there is nowhere you can't lay your weary bones and just appreciate life without people thinking you're a dork and/or a sick gazer. The working class just roll out a scrap of sheet and picnic on the side of the road with friends (no space at home) and the muslims just roll out their prayer mats wherever and whenever they please to keep Allah posted. And when I say wherever and whenever, I mean like stopping their cars at the side of the road during rush hour and genuflecting. Why not? I fucking love that. Just came back from watching an open air movie with The Fox (yes, we're on attempt number 3 and 5 months in), and on our way home I made him lie wth me on the grass at the side of the road. Even though he said 'you know, people spit here. Anyway, I know you'll shower after this' then looked at his watch after I brushed him off with a smile, the five minutes spent gazing up at the glistening facade of my towering building (there weren't any stars to speak of, or look at) made him realise the beauty in my spit and grass madness, and maybe something bigger. He just got home and sent me a text message saying:

'I'm having such a wonderful time with you. You're making my life happier. Thanks for a lovely evening. I love you'

For the record, I'm not showering.


IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

A FELICIDADE

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

EVER SO TALENTED

a very poor, disheveled and uninspired work look. The month of May just doesn't roll off my tongue that well.

thoughts/facts/beliefs:

cats aren't THAT bad. I may want one.

meow.

muay thai is better than beach boot camp because you get to kick shit.

An asthma attack nearly killed me yesterday so I probably have asthma.

smiling over a break-up is so much more effective than crying. try it.

Kristen Stewart was so ideal circa Adventureland and Into the Wild, and then a vampire came and bit her. Now she's dead.

Blindfolded dinners make you want to have sex.

There is blood everywhere.

Someone got caught under my sheets last week.

I am big into changing my relationship status on facebook so would appreciate it if you'd stop breaking up with me.

I could dress so much better. honest.

You do need a day off. Call in sick.

Banks are never your friend. Silly me.

Become a journalist. You will get into places even when it's a 'private party'.

I want a raise.

I deserve one.

Tuesdays are the new Thursdays.

I really appreciate you but no more Japanese characters please.

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

TIL THE CLOCK STOPS, TIL THE GAME ENDS

Yes please! From Normann

Last thing you ate: egg fried rice

Last thing you drank: green tea

Last thing you watched: my money disappear

Last thing you bought: 6 months rent

Last thing you returned: probably something from Zara I overexcitedly purchased under the impression that I was skinny

Last thing you dreamt of: my boyfriend cheating on me

Last thing you fought with someone about: being moody

Last thing you regretted: nothing

Last thing you forgot: how big your boobs can get leading up to your period. Big scare this morning.

Last thing you wrote: an article probably

Last text you received: 'I have one thing to say to you Miss Kara. Fantastic....' from my new landlord (!!!!)

Last thing you laughed at: penis conversation. Heck, even the word 'penis' makes me smile. It's a DICK, okay!?

Last thing you read: the latest issue of our mag before it got sent out to the public an hour ago.

Last thing you felt proud about: being part of a publication that just got ranked the number one magazine in the UAE. Champagne and higher pay for everyone...or so we all hope.

Last thing you considered: not going to work tomorrow

Last person you spoke to: The Fox

Last thing you saw that you wanted: a coffee table! Seriously. NOT a pair of shoes.

Last thing you stole: his heart

Last thing you realised: that I am so tied down to this apartment now that I won't be able to travel at all this year. Real bummer. I had big plans: the UK for Download Festival, Lollapalooza in Chicago, Istanbul, surfing and humanitarian acts in Ecuador...

Last thing you decided: to go to work tomorrow 

 

Honourable mentions this week:

the mushroom soup at The One, soup generally, champagne, the perks of being poor, spa treatments, blindfolded dinners, sustainable schools, fitness, polyvore, mothers, surprises, random acts of kindness, tea with milk, dressing better for work, carpooling

 

 

 

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.