PILLOW TALK

My boss called me up the other night and asked me if I wanted to write a report on some yacht race happening in Dubai. I get there half an hour late and next thing you know I'm being whipped by a massive entourage through the VIP entrance to a ritzy yacht - I kept all of them from enjoying the first 30 minutes of what followed; mini course after mini course of the kind of food that was clearly hidden from me all my life, that alongside unlimited Moet and Coronitas til sun down (DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THESE? CUTEST THINGS EVER!!!). And you can bet your bottom dollar I grabbed one of those designer SPF lotions fanned out on that silver platter at the entrance. Typical freelancer behaviour.

What my boss failed to mention was that I was covering the Louis Vuitton Trophy and that I was going to get on board one of the vessels to race as the 18th man. Didn't happen, though, due to crappy winds and major race delays. Not that I minded, obviously! But I could've gotten many more flutes down the chute if I wasn't so busy being a professional journalist (and the only one not carrying any LV anywhere on their person) preparing to compete on the high seas - aka painfully sober.

Still, a great day had. Even better, after declining a ride home because no one knew that I had travelled all the way from another Emirate aboard a public bus for two hours to get there, I arrived home to find lovely noises in my kitchen - COOKING! The Fox had a whole feast in the works. AND it was carb free (yeah, this again...). I love him, oh I do, I do! The only problem is he made a big egg breakfast again for me this morning even though it was his first day back to work from vacay (and no carbs in there either) so it means I've got to come up with something extra special in the next few hours.

Oh, to hell with it. I'll let the pillow do the talking.

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

I WANT YOU BLEEDERS

Bath essentials?

Looking...at Sweeney Todd on TV and wondering when I'll ever get over his lust-worthy coif..still upset with my hair stylist for telling me my hair would break off if I put a white streak in it (and no, a fake chunk won't suffice)

Reading...Arabic...had my first proper class today!

Drinking...Iced chai tea lattes, as usual

Watching...this Cass Bird trailer over and over of life perfected, starring friends in the Sophomore Spring 2010 collection! (posted on my birthday, might I add)

Smelling of...chlorine

Eating...sashimi...forever

Dreaming of...my upcoming trip to the Philippines! So stoked! Next month, bitches!

Wearing...Zara. Zara. Zara. A sneak peak at my last much anticipated, heavily discounted purchase?

Trying...and failing to be productive - there are so many reasons for which I need to sit in front of this laptop for hours but have only managed to give it the time of day to browse FFFound, update my twitter status, internet bank and stalk Rihanna

Wanting...my motherfucking cheques to arrive in the post already!!!

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On a side note, IT'S SURF SEASON! Have never even lain on a board on the fucking sand but I've been keen to start for years (and what better excuse than a new year?). Scott over at SurfDubai has been sending me loads of cool updates recently and it looks like they're doing a special offer for their surf fit programme (land and water based boot camp happening next month):

The one month course, which consists of 2 sessions a week only costs AED 1000! And if you bring a friend you both pay 900 (bring 2 and you'll pay 800 apiece!!). All equipment provided!

ALSO

This Friday, check them on Sunset Beach (Dubai) in the morning and grab as much free Quiksilver gear as you can (they're their sponsors and are being super generous that day only to celebrate the opening of the season.

Interested? Check those fuckers out!

THEY WILL SEE US WAVING FROM SUCH GREAT HEIGHTS

So Fox and I have made a decision to celebrate our birthdays all month so on our last days of work he borrowed his bro's car, picked me up and we sped off to Dubai, clubbed like house rats, checked out asian chicks, got drunk, talked a pile of bullshit, listened to gangsta rap, passed out and woke up in this really nice hotel with a sick view of the Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world. *SIGH* my life...

So I guess we're dating (minus a label). It's been fun...laying on the beach for 2 days straight, drinking Corona, teaching each other stupid phrases in our respective languages. But Panda hasn't been too far from my mind either...

Panda and I talked for hours this morning and the complete sick-in-the-head losers we are, we came up with this plan to get 2 t-shirts printed in bulk to sell to you. One saying Team Panda and one Team Fox. When Fox becomes more of a regular on here, I'll set up a paypal account and you'll be able to choose which 'animal' you like more, then order and sport their respective t-shirt. Panda and I will share the proceeds. Sounds like a plan?

I THINK I'm just kidding...we'll see.

YOU CAN UNTRAIN YOURSELF TO NOTICE

Random picture of me today, bored out of my skull after an interview with a magazine editor, and on my way to the massive Dubai Mall for this Grazia X Banana Republic sale and fashion event. Never made it because I never got the memo about Dubai making it virtually impossible to pick up a taxi between the hours of 4 and 6pm, and the one about the buses not accepting any money whatsoever. Also got extremely lost following signs to a non-existent metro station, then settled myself near the valet man at a nearby hotel in the hopes that he and his team could find me a taxi, which they couldn't. Called for one to come get me. Called back 30 minutes later and they had apparently given up on me. Finally shoved a guy out of one when they pulled up, and headed to the sole Wagamama in Dubai where I ate my usual dish (except half the size) and thought of my Wagamama frenzied friends back in London. Hadn't eaten squat all day so also ordered a side and copious wine, then headed to Trader Vic's tiki bar upstairs, where I would recommend the after dinner cocktail called White Cloud, which probably beats any dessert platter any day; AND it was happy hour, so indulged in 2 at half price before heading home. Taxi man had to wake me when we got to the station (as dessert drinks had totally nailed, not just hit, the spot), then ran for my life to catch the 2 hour bus home to Abu Dhabi. Now home watching VH1 and sipping green tea and thinking how miserable this all was.

On another note, OMG The XX is on VH1 in the Middle East - recognise their voices anywhere! Well done, kids!....but seriously, someone send me back to London. At least over there the Wagamama is a decent size, the buses take my shit coins and I can at least have a skinny boy with beautiful hair in my arms by the end of a miserable night.