a dirty word

PREDICTABLY PREDICTABLE

2011-01-20T15:20:00.000Z

HI HI!
Just a quick catch-up with these predictably perfect Tristan Blair Samantha Wedges as a backdrop - Rumi's, not mine.

Actually I don't feel like talking. I recently celebrated my 22nd and I feel like I've outgrown this space so will probably be moving virtual households soon. More on that note another day, and possibly in another space.

To conclude, as if you couldn't tell by the difference in photo quality, these are some of MY favourite things right now...just so I don't leave feeling guilty about just copy and paste blogging.

Have a great day! x

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

SYMPHONY OF DESTRUCTION

2011-01-03T22:39:00.001Z

One of my first purchases for the year, surprisingly from Forever 21.

There is a thin, tainted film of something lining the back of my tongue, and I've tried every drink in the cabinet trying to get rid of it. I don't even remember the last time I got a cold or got seriously sick. As a result, I've spent the majority of the day lying across various pieces of furniture. Haven't showered, haven't brushed my teeth. AND, my period - if I decide it's not a better idea to just get pregnant - should be arriving exactly on my birthday in a couple days.

2011? Just. Ew.

Anyways, Domino is about to start on TV. Time to do some more lying around.

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

IT IS WRITTEN

2011-01-02T22:41:00.000Z

And I love her.
Always have, always will.
Okay - I'll make it official. Kesh is my 2011 muse.

...
How's your year going so far? Did you sit on the freezing sidewalk in a poofy black skirt and howl in desperation at the moon?
Damn, so did I.

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

GLITTERING SIDEWALKS

2010-12-26T11:39:00.000Z

Isn't she a beaut?! Christmas has been good to me this year.

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

THIS SIDE OF PARADISE

2010-12-26T11:36:00.000Z

Jacques, the new meek and mild porno mag?

I kinda dig it.

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

WHAT'S YOUR POISON?

2010-12-26T11:32:00.000Z

Been hunting down the right print version of this joke for a piece of art in my kitchen...

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

MEET ME HALFWAY

2010-12-26T11:17:00.000Z

Wow, what a year. I truly hope your's was as wild as mine...and despite my negative 'tude, I mean that in the best possible way

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

STARVE FOR A GOOD CAUSE

2010-12-23T23:04:00.000Z

2011 is looking sartorially bright for me, eh? Sounds good. Anyway, as always, the overly dreamy Christmas Closet Wish List. Enjoy.

Winter Wants: The Bag by thelonelylondoner featuring knit tops

Adam Oversized wool-blend cardigan, $385
Loopy Knit Pullover, $352
Vivienne Westwood Red Label Draped crepe pencil skirt, $290
Jil Sander Elio stretch-cotton shorts, $445
JECKERSON PA01 PANNA COTTON/ELASTANE 0, 184 GBP
Savana Leopard Wedge Booties, $1,195
Electric Blue Soft Matte, $750
Pendleton Weekend Bag - brodie tartan, 245 GBP
Barton Perreira, $480
The Village - Black, $210
Reindeer antlers, $2.99

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

NINETY NINE NAMES FOR GOD

2010-12-22T13:03:00.001Z

So...Christmas, huh? I'm still in denial. I'll be working through it anyway...the freelancer way.

Anyway, this is yesterday's outfit.

Promod jacket, Zara Men's tshirt, battered grey denim cut-offs from somewhere on Brick Lane, New Look boots

And this is an Arab thing given to me by my boyfriend's mother when she was moving house. It has the 99 names for God written on each bead. Not sure why I'm so drawn to religious articles but I have a serious horde all over my house and my boyfriend is getting anxious about it.

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

DIRTY CHRISTMAS CAROLLING

2010-12-22T12:31:00.002Z

Songs...

Listen...GnR is stil amazing, by the way. I was blown away nearly to tears at their show the other day.

My brother is coming home for Christmas tonight after his first semester of Uni. Very excited to see the freshman year changes...

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

LINE IN THE SAND

2010-12-16T11:31:00.000Z

That's why I haven't been writing.

Guns 'n' Roses tonight, Slackline Yoga tomorrow, Motocross Saturday and Fencing on Sunday.

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

KEEPING SKELETONS IN THE CLOSET IS A WASTE OF SPACE

2010-12-05T10:45:00.000Z

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...AND I JUST LOVE THIS SCARF!!!!

EATING: eggs lovingly made by the mummy

DRINKING: sorrel with vodka - 'tis the season to be merry, y'all!

SINGING: Snoop Dogg's 'Sexual Eruption' haha

READING: Ernesto Che Guevara: Reminiscences of the Cuban Revolutionary War

WEARING: big scarves that cover my entire outfit, denim shirts, bell bottoms, badly made bras, hair ribbons and frilly blouses with Halloween bats on them

WONDERING: ...where the hell my paycheck is?

ANTICIPATING: getting paid, Creamfields, Guns 'n' Roses, my next swap social this weekend, Fencing on Wednesday, camping in the desert next week and Motocross next weekend!

LOVING: one dirham coins, public transportation, sorrel and vodka, a kitchen savvy boyfriend, days off, odd jobs here and there that bring in random, much-needed cash

WILL BE MISSING: those black pointy tipped sunglasses I wear all the time (in the style of the Linda Farrow/Wang ones) - They broke last night. Also, my boyfriend is moving out to some special accommodation in the desert so I will only be seeing him once a week from January. That's gonna ache like seeing your pet fish die over and over again *droopy face*

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

THE BARE NECESSITIES

2010-12-05T09:32:00.000Z

I'm trying to get my friends used to calling me Mowgli in 2011. I just love him. Dig the haircut espesh...

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

STEALING ALL THE LIGHT

2010-11-27T09:33:00.000Z

How to wear a denim button down with prints and neon?

Just fuckin' do it!

A day in the office.

Just got back from kayaking on the mangroves. It's been a long and overly active couple weeks. I am officially pooped. Signing off.

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

POUND FOR POUND

2010-11-26T21:03:00.000Z

two things I just can't get enough of right now. Get on it.

Other than that...I am dying to go to Creamfields Abu Dhabi. I am dying to see Guns 'n' Roses in December. Machete has been on my radar for eons and I still have yet to see it (did you? Is it good?). Excited to possibly go home for a short break before Christmas. Want to finish my can of Stella but it's from my dad's special stash and the folks just got home. I wish my mum would just cut the act and give me the bike we both picked out for me for Christmas - could really use it. I am adoring my tiny Christmas tree, which I'll soon start decorating with obscure things. I am sort of panicking about my new workload at the mag but the pay raise will make it worth it. Fight training has been awesome - hit up the gym for 1.5 hours of torture first thing this morning and surprised my trainer. Only problem is I am becoming more violent. Took my spike bracelet for a spin today. Mouthed off a local - a total no no around these parts. Mouthed off a bus driver. Probably shouldn't have because he works my neighbourhood. Nearly mouthed off a girl over-eying my man. Thought better of it because she's not even his type. The boyf will meet my father tonight at his birthday party. I will drink a lot and post all the little details on Twitter. Be there. I have been dressing well. Kayaking on the mangroves a little too early in the morning. Hence, goodnight.

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

PINKBERRY AND PINK CHAMPAGNE

2010-11-22T14:17:00.000Z

My mom is preparing to meet the queen this weekend so I'm over at her's again messing around in her closet.

Cheap no name wayfarers, polka dot head tie, lace dress - H&M, thrifted bag, neon slippers bought over the weekend at Dragonmart; this never-ending story of a chinese outlet mall in Dubai.

Wanted to show you one of 6 options I put together for her for the soiree but they're not uploading...so...oh well. I guess this is yet another personal outfit post.

miss my old room...

It just dawned on me that I am sporting a coca cola addiction so severe right now that last night when I discovered that there was no fizzy in the house at an ungodly hour, I got dressed with the intention of downing as many free glasses of coke as possible at ladies night at my favourite neighbourhood club. Word.

Right now, really craving kushari (even if it sounds like a cheap drug, which, I guess it is), reading Rope Burns by FX Toole for my fight training (the book to Million Dollar Baby) and looking for my stretchiest skinnies to go boarding with the bros tomorrow (woop woop! Haven't skated in like forever!)

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

CRACKS ME UP

2010-11-22T12:33:00.000Z

My boy Shaunie's passport visa photo for entry into China. haha...

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

THE NOT SO DAILY OUTFIT STRIKES AGAIN

2010-11-18T13:44:00.000Z

Oh, but I do sit down to some serious work too! It's just that my office is way cooler than yours. It's anywhere I fucking want it to be. Today, I missed my mum so it's at her apartment.

LOOKING: Like a cute and willing Nylon intern in a lot of fucking bows. Blouse - New Look, Skinnies - hand me downs from my little sis (yes, correct), Flats - Dune. Upon waking up, I was instantly aware that pretending to play the part of a preppy little secretary was the only way I was going to get anything done today. I've been super lazy these last few days, and it's because my nearly severed middle finger is just too distracting!! And pityful! Yeah, I sliced through a third of it while attacking some cheese (a no carb diet will do that to you). I think I told you this already though. As much as I love having The Fox do my dishes for me because of it, I am dying for it to heal so I can get back in the ring! I honestly do miss sweat stink boxing gloves.

READING: David Sedaris' 'Holidays On Ice'; just in time for the festive season, even if in it he does a stellar job showing Christmas up for how hilariously miserable and meaningless it really is. If you ask me, he is the sort of dinner guest I would bring to the Christmas table.

DRINKING: Coronitas! Yes! Stupidly small bottles of Corona made for, oh, I dunno, children? They're way cuter than children though and you shouldn't have to bat an eyelid to figure out which one I'd adopt first.

WATCHING: Well, the last thing I went out of my way to see was 'The Social Network'. Underwhelming, just like the December issue of Australian Vogue. hmph. As for the last thing I didn't even have to get out of bed to see? Se7en on DVD. Love it. What I really am dying to see? Robert Rodriguez's 'Machete'. I have been waiting for this since it was just a wee fake trailer in 'Grindhouse'. It has finally landed. Is it true The Lohan stars as a gun wielding nun? Like, what the fuck's not to love?

SMELLING OF: Some Hugo Boss scent or other. Too chicken to spritz the teardrop of a portion left in my Chanel bottle. Meanwhile, praying for Tom Ford's 'Black Orchid' under the tree this year.

EATING: spicy tomato with rice soup. I swear it's like crack in a can....but red with a soupy texture.

DREAMING OF: Going home to my bed. My Fox-y sense is tingling. I think he's at my doorstep.

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

I CAN FEEL THE SLIME DRIPPIN' DOWN HER SLEEVE

2010-11-18T12:48:00.004Z

Even in Abu Dhabi it's getting chilly out. Not cold enough to wear the fire engine red blizzard bombshell I eyed in Zara last night though. Shame.

Either way, looks like I may be passing through either NY or LDN on my way to a short break in TNT! Keep that on the DL though because my peeps don't know and I might end up getting swayed by the shopping at the first destination and never even make it there. Why am I speaking like that?

The 2010 Chills by thelonelylondoner featuring an asymmetrical jacket

レイヤードジャケット, 54,600 JPY
Tsumori Chisato / Gold Film Boa Coat, $1,284
Helmut Lang Asymmetric rabbit and nappa-leather jacket, $1,895
Vena Cava / Battening Cape, $650
D&G Rabbit collarless jacket, $1,995
Jil Sander Cashmere wrap coat, $2,875
Feather cape Pink, 50 GBP
Alexander Wang Cropped leather jacket, $1,100

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

PILLOW TALK

2010-11-18T12:27:00.000Z

My boss called me up the other night and asked me if I wanted to write a report on some yacht race happening in Dubai. I get there half an hour late and next thing you know I'm being whipped by a massive entourage through the VIP entrance to a ritzy yacht - I kept all of them from enjoying the first 30 minutes of what followed; mini course after mini course of the kind of food that was clearly hidden from me all my life, that alongside unlimited Moet and Coronitas til sun down (DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THESE? CUTEST THINGS EVER!!!). And you can bet your bottom dollar I grabbed one of those designer SPF lotions fanned out on that silver platter at the entrance. Typical freelancer behaviour.

What my boss failed to mention was that I was covering the Louis Vuitton Trophy and that I was going to get on board one of the vessels to race as the 18th man. Didn't happen, though, due to crappy winds and major race delays. Not that I minded, obviously! But I could've gotten many more flutes down the chute if I wasn't so busy being a professional journalist (and the only one not carrying any LV anywhere on their person) preparing to compete on the high seas - aka painfully sober.

Still, a great day had. Even better, after declining a ride home because no one knew that I had travelled all the way from another Emirate aboard a public bus for two hours to get there, I arrived home to find lovely noises in my kitchen - COOKING! The Fox had a whole feast in the works. AND it was carb free (yeah, this again...). I love him, oh I do, I do! The only problem is he made a big egg breakfast again for me this morning even though it was his first day back to work from vacay (and no carbs in there either) so it means I've got to come up with something extra special in the next few hours.

Oh, to hell with it. I'll let the pillow do the talking.

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

GIMME THAT SALT ALL AROUND THAT RIM

2010-11-13T14:20:00.000Z

Hello! I didn't type for a while because I nearly sawed off my left middle finger while feverishly attacking a block of cheese - I started a no carb thing a couple days a week so...it was bound to happen sooner or later. Anyway, isn't that just a fucking awesome album cover? No shame in saying it...the skankiness of her, the wigs, the dirty mouth, her rhymes, the Barbie fascination....the fact that she is ALSO from Trinidad....it all just makes my labia tingle lol.

Disgusting, isn't it? Yet I would wed and bed this girl in a heartbeat (or bed then wed her, doesn't matter...). Throw in the new Kelis (who I'm seeing live tonight) and some Kesh (also Trinidadian) and I'm set for life.

In fact, I would love to sit in on some Young Money meetings (I don't listen to rap regularly but I am highly impressed with this crew, namely Nicki, Drake and Lil Wayne. Young Money is to the world of Hip Hop what Jack Kerouac is to Fiction, and I just hope they can keep it going, even while in prison.

Oy vey...straying very far away from my metal/punk/electro home...

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

HOLED UP IN HERE

2010-11-06T17:14:00.000Z

http://whatcourtneyworetoday.com/

REALLY!
Pretty random of her, but then again, it's Courtney Love.

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

WHEN YOU ARE ENGULFED IN FLAMES

2010-11-06T16:38:00.000Z

I spent the entire weekend 'modelling' for photog students in this lighting workshop and just had such an unexpected blast. As a result, I'm now even more intrigued by imagery and fashion photography and am at present browsing photography blogs, so this is just some TDF (to die for) images on my desktop right now, from various artists, all nabbed from Twisted Lamb <------ kick ass blog.

Total brilliance.

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

HOLD ME LIKE A GUN

2010-11-06T15:56:00.000Z

Sorry I've been such a shitty blog parent but this last week has kept me pretty busy.

Anyway, do you like my shoes?

Only 40 dirhams from New Look. Yeah, that's like 6 pounds/10 dollars. I went ape shit there on shoes the other weekend, bought like 6 pairs. I don't know why I am always surprised at how good their collection is. It was never that great in the UK when I lived there, and now I barely shop anywhere else for footwear. Good for them.

In other news...

THIS DREAM is for sale in my neighbourhood. I want it so bad, but I don't have the local license and oh yeah, I don't have 50,000 dirhams. The local guy who owns it saw The Fox and I peering inside of it late one night and just gushing like mad and pulled up in his shiny white Mercedes G Class Off-Roader and explained that it was THE car for his crew, B2B (Between Two Bridges, the English name for the neighbourhood he and I both live in). He's really keen to get rid of it for nearly any price, it seems, which is a bit shady so it's probably a blessing that I can't afford it...

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

RED HORSES GALLOP

2010-11-06T15:38:00.000Z

I have nothing to show you with regards to Halloween. Get over it.

Damn, it's been a minute. I am thinking of starting a zine called 'Red Horses Gallop'. Inspiration?

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

HOW DO I LOOK?

2010-10-23T16:41:00.010+01:00

Just two poor people enjoying each other's company on a kitchen floor.

Last thing you ate: tuna salad

Last thing you drank: half a can of day old totally fizzed out coke sitting on my dresser when I woke up. My cola addiction is definitely back.

Last thing you watched: One of the Abu Dhabi Film Festival documentaries: Tears of Gaza, a disturbingly candid look at the situation out there...The Fox is Palestinian so we made a date to catch it.

Last thing you bought: an egg sandwich at 3 in the morning from a little Arab pit stop post the Abu Dhabi Fighting Championship after party.

Last thing you returned: Readers, I've come to that point in my life where there is no longer anything to return. However, there are loads to swap! So I'm sooo glad I launched this funky swap social event business. It's in perfect timing with my new poverty-stricken situation. The last clothing swap was just yesterday, actually, and I managed to nab a few tops and a delicate teardrop anklet. Not as killer a collection as the last one where I walked away with a killer cut blazer, battered black skinnies, and more. But it can only get better.

Last thing you dreamt of: playing basketball with my family, my ex and his new girlfriend...
Last thing you wrote: a piece on some real Bear Grylls people preparing to cross the desert, climb the emirate's highest peak, kayak it's surrounding waters and cross the finish line in no more than 6 days to win some fat cash. Good for them.

Last thing you laughed at: The unfortunate people The Fox and I had to mingle with at the fighting championship after party, they being cleavage popping teachers in droves shotting tequila and dancing with their shoes off while waiting to see buffed up tatted up fighters fresh from the ring and dotted with bandages. The male population? Off their face Arab gym buffs hoping to be mistaken for pro-fighters by the female population.

Last thing you read: Oddly, I've been reading the bible to The Fox and we've been stopping to make notes and compare religions. And we've been doing this while drinking vodka cranberries. Is this wrong? I just think it's such a great story...well, once you get past all those repetitive sections on the many offspring being produced and the generations dying out.

Last thing you felt proud about: another successful swap event, I guess. We're slowly building up a fanbase - as well as some cash - and this great girl from a local mag called me up the other day to propose a feature interview. An interesting sidenote: they're the rival mag of the one I used to work for only a month ago.

Last thing you considered: a very gutsy hair chopping spree...

Last thing you saw that you wanted: the biggest glass of red wine

Last thing you stole: a cigarette off af a guy at mentioned after party, which I took back to my poor, cigarette deprived fox. We're so broke. And so bored.

Last thing you realised: that I'm about to start training for my first real amateur muay thai fight, and that I can't back out of it now because my editor loves the idea of me keeping a fight diary. My aim is to be in the ring for my 22nd birthday in January. Would you pay good money to see that? Cause I could use some.

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

TOO COLD FOR YOU TO KEEP HER, TOO HOT FOR YOU TO LEAVE HER

2010-10-20T21:05:00.003+01:00

Only just now making my way through the 2011 Resort collections, to be honest, starting with 'A'...for Acne.

Are they on fire with this collection or what?!

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

SNIPER AT THE GATES OF HEAVEN

2010-10-20T20:54:00.000+01:00

Hell no am I going to further embarrass myself by posting the new Rihanna song that I am hopelessly obsessed with as of late. Instead, have an offering of the other artist I am currently swooning over. Gnarlitude Jen posted this song and video eons ago but I'm just coming around in the blogosphere after a whirlwind couple weeks sports journalism-ing, swap meet prepping, film festival going, Adrien Brody stalking yadda yadda, so here ya go...

Honest to the powers that be, if I were a highly fucking talented music video director with a penchant for the dark side, I would produce exactly this. Hauntingly beautiful doesn't even fully capture it.

And this one just oozes early morning road trip for me. I don't know about you...

Get on it.

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

HOW TO NOT WANT TO BE A STAR

2010-10-14T10:31:00.000+01:00

Remember Lenny Kravitz?

The mister is still lookin' good. He posted this on twitter recently - just your typical Paris snap at 3.50 in the morning. Love the style. Love the stance. Photo by Mathieu Bitton.

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

A GOTHIC ROMANCE

2010-10-14T10:24:00.000+01:00

Call it a poor girl's mental block but I've seen this scent just about everywhere before, heard everyone's gushes, even thought the name - Black Orchid - sounded exactly like something that I should be smelling like for the rest of my very dark life, but never bothered to test it out until last night at the mall. And only because I was smelling a tad sweaty from hopping buses all day and about to sit in a darkened theatre with several other people. The Fox - who is taking a shot at courting me once more - and I went on a date and ended up finding our perfect scents - and I presume - each other's perfect christmas gifts, before catching the 8.15 showing of The Devil (yeah, I dunno). His would be Bleu de Chanel and mine would be aformentioned heady otherwordliness. Funny thing is it also smells just like this eggnog-y type drink we guzzle at Christmas time in Trinidad, but made for your neck! I can't quite nail it in writing so just go sniff for yourself next time you hit up the department stores.

3 things I'm stoked about right now:

Tackling Adrien Brody on the red carpet when he comes here for the gala screening of his latest film 'Wrecked'. The Abu Dhabi Film Festival hits the capital this weekend, baby!

My next swap social happening next week! Business is booming! More later.

Modeling in early November for students at a photography workshop. Save for a few Kill City shots taken by Panda back in the day (and a shoot done two days ago to promote my next swap social), I don't - and am certainly no - model, but I'm thinking why the fuck not? From what it looks like, I'm on a mission to be as out of my element as possible for the rest of 2010 (I just competed in Abu Dhabi's Dragonboat Races, got picked up on by some male high school biology students I was giving an exam to, started a business overnight, and literally just got asked to train with the country's national triathlon team...). So modeling? Piece o cake.

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

LARKS IN THE GARDEN

2010-10-03T13:14:00.000+01:00

Me after crying for centuries.

How was your weekend? Unfortunately I had to dump my boyfriend AND kick him out of my apartment before he decided to come back at me with any regretful, loved up words (or his penis). And then I got dressed the fuck up in an "Alexis Mabille" dress and danced myself skinnier and far far happier. So now everything is fine. For now.

Me, Alexis Mabille's spirit and my sister (guess how old she is!)

I have to say...the one good thing about a rocky relationship when you're a writer is all the stories it produces. Wrote a great deal this morning.

And now some music. This song always relaxes me, and helps me make believe I am alone on Spanish cobbled streets:

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

SUSIE BY RUMI

2010-09-24T20:00:00.000+01:00

I love this photo of Susie in Stockholm, snapped by Rumi of Fashiontoast.
More Stockholm diary photos here.

Today was such a great day. I hosted my very first clothes swapping event and snagged the sweetest fitting black blazer, some battered black skinnies and some other great pieces. And the best part? I wasn't even expecting to find anything I liked because I dress like no one else in this city. I haven't been this happy in probably over a month. Pictures to come.

P.S. Yesterday I went indoor skydiving for my new freelance writing job. It was mad fun.

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

P.S. I LOVE YOU

2010-09-22T18:01:00.003+01:00

I am all over this Alexa Plum Loopy Leopard blah blah blah Mulberry like salmon on rice at Yo! Sushi.

I haven't wanted much lately but I'm feeling particularly greedy today since I've spent the last 24 hours getting exactly what I want, i.e. I just got offered a freelance writing job and my latest project is getting huge help from awesome friends I met while working at my last job. As a result, here's a Polyvore set of some more o my must-haves.

September 2010 by thelonelylondoner featuring a cape coat

Hervé Léger Asymmetric velour bandage dress, $2,750
top, 19,950 JPY
Cashmere hue, 1.500 DKK
Cropped Vest, $875
black / grey / tan knit cape, $398
Alexander Wang Wool-blend draped shorts, $370
YVES SAINT LAURENT PUMPS
Dr. Martens Avery 10-Eye Boot CHERRY RED VELVET New Eccentrics
Proenza Schouler PS1 Medium leather satchel, $1,825
Cubes of Gold, 265 GBP
black beaded choker, $38
Illesteva / Leonard Sunglasses, $165
Antler Headband By Unique, $160
Chanel - Chance Eau De Toilette Spray 100ml/3.4oz, $85

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

I'VE GOT STAINS ON MY TSHIRT

2010-09-19T15:08:00.000+01:00

Behind the scenes of one of my latest little projects.

I wanna be a stylist, man.

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

MADE THIS WAY

2010-09-15T00:08:00.001+01:00

Kesh has a new print. I dig. A lot. Only a Trinidadian could be that rad. :p It's pretty affordable too - even the recently rebelliously unemployed like me can have one. But no. I am thinking to grab the rest of the money and run. I've been dreaming of spontaneous sabbaticals...Like..can you go on a writing retreat when you're not really even a writer?

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

SILENT TREATMENT

2010-09-14T23:54:00.000+01:00

I don't have blue hair anymore.
I don't have listerine anymore either. haha...
I'm bad, but not that bad.
FUN FACT: my dad's a pilot and he can get stopped from flying if he so much as gargled too much of that shit. He's all picking fights with my mum these days about shopping for the alcohol-free kind).

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

LIFE IN A CAPELLA

2010-09-14T23:29:00.000+01:00

Really lovin' this woman right now, especially since we now share a third nasal opening (it's good to be bullringed again now that I'm miles from an office).

As usual, The Fox and I are not friends tonight. He still hasn't quite come to terms with the fact that I actually am a social alcoholic (I hate people who laugh and nod and say they are too) and it bums him out. So I've left him a box of donuts in the fridge with an apologetic Post-It note attached and Rehab tonight is at my parent's place. I'm updating my CV, changing my Facebook name and snuggling up on the sofa with the girls watching Kendra's E! True Hollywood Story.

FUCK ME, DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S SOOO GOOD? Spicy tomato and rice soup. Staying true to my new 'life's a bitch but I can handle myself now that I own a flat' stance, I brought over my own canned food. Mother dearest still pried it from my hands to heat on the stove, though, and made sure I had every last drop! That and tea with cardamom spiced milk just does it for me these days. I'm losing hella weight, though, obviously.

I just had a really easy, breezy talk with Panda (it's been a long time coming), and I actually have no ill feelings towards his new girlfriend. I get great vibes from her. I hope he reads this. I mean that.

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

MURDER YOUR LITTLE DARLINGS

2010-09-07T15:50:00.000+01:00

Yesterday I quit my job.
I feel like this right now....

Last thing you ate: home made pasta

Last thing you drank: chai tea

Last thing you watched: Isao Takahata's 'Grave of the Fireflies'. And I cried and cried and cried. There was a thunderstorm up in my bed last night.

Last thing you bought: some takeout from Bricco Cafe - THE best fast food Italian in town, I have to say. Just waiting until it hits 6.38pm so I can eat it!!! (fasting)

Last thing you returned: An Arabic phrase book

Last thing you dreamt of: running into my now ex-boss at a chinese restaurant cum bowling alley

Last thing you fought with someone about: Honestly? I can't remember the last time I fought with someone.

Last thing you regretted: nothing, but I was thinking if I still had my job, I would probably be able to go to London in October like I had planned.

Last thing you forgot: how much more exciting life is when you're just wingin' it (yeah, I say that now since I only got paid a week ago)

Last thing you wrote: a resignation letter

Last text you received: I dunno because I lost my phone. AGAIN! And I knew it was going to happen so I didn't splash out a new one, thank FUCK!

Last thing you laughed at: The Fox telling a serious story but with very cute, very flawed English.

Last thing you read: I'm reading a book that's banned here called 'Abu Dhabi: Oil and Beyond'. It's very enlightening. My ex-boss lent it to the team to read hoping it would shed some light on where we're based and where we're writing about. It does, but I no longer work there.

Last thing you felt proud about: having the guts to leave and branch out even before I had a plan. Stupid. But exciting.

Last thing you considered: teaching Creative Writing...

Last person you spoke to: I'm holed up on the couch with my mum catching up. She just got back from trips to Canada and Chicago.

Last thing you saw that you wanted: Kelis' style!

Last thing you stole: some small food items from my mom's kitchen. It's going to be a tough couple months.

Last thing you realised: that I'm actually doing well for someone my age and that I shouldn't freak out so much. I'm 21! I'm just getting started!

Last thing you decided: to take on a couple one-off jobs from my adoring mother until I find my feet. I will now be my mum's personal trainer three times a week, and will double as her style consultant and wardrobe sorter.

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

YOU'RE ALRIGHT

2010-09-03T23:09:00.001+01:00

Friday night in.
My idea of piggin' out.

The fam's off in Toronto setting up my little brother for college so The Fox and I are vacationing in their apartment on the weekends, throwing dinner parties, playing Truth or Dare and cards, watching The Tudors and The Hills and fighting about whether one particular time is better to go to the gym rather than stay home and watch a dumb movie. He's asleep on the sofa and I'm chowing on my lonesome with some back to back Beverly Hills 90210 - something The Russian boat dweller lent me. And I swear it was purely coincidence that I started watching it just in time for 90210 Day.

I am thinking of quitting my job, not only because my bosses don't like/trust me, but because now that I know that, I get a feeling it's a great time to dive into all my purely passion driven projects, even if they involve next to no money. I'll probably go consult Susan Miller after this.

[UPDATE] Lo and behold, Susan Miller says this month is a great month to quit my job and change my focus in my career sector; even study again!

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

A WALK IN THE PARK

2010-09-03T22:54:00.000+01:00

I've been really out of the blogosphere and fashion loop for quite a while now and I actually find it refreshing. But allow me to adore a teensy bit of what I've missed...

...like these insane DI$COUNT fingertips selling at Meadowlark. They have a gorgeous guest blogger collection but all the jewelry at Meadowlark is just quite simply fab.

Bangin'...

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

I NEVER WISHED TO BE SAVED

2010-08-28T12:30:00.001+01:00

Oh yeah.

And you should've been there at the salon for the revolted looks from Arab women thinking 'but what dashing young man is hoping to sweep a rapidly aging young woman off her feet? Poor her. She has no idea.'

I stuck out my tongue at one thinking 'poor them!'

I did the whole navy blue tra-la-la just over a month ago - pic when I can be bothered.

Note the striped nails to match. Purely unintentional.

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

GETS ME TO THE CHURCH ON TIME

2010-08-27T00:03:00.000+01:00

A very Tim Burton Thursdsay night...

with Castle lager and cool clothing courtesy Noi.se magazine.

Fox and I just had an unofficial spat tonight - probably because he found me actually having fun with a guy friend - so I'm typing away at this in the dark in the company of his turned back. I dig the word 'spat'.

Fuck him.

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

I LOVE IT WHEN YOU CALL

2010-08-20T08:47:00.000+01:00

Unfortunately, I wake up at ungodly weekend hours now so here's what I've just done. No bloggers have ever tagged me in that 'What's in Your Bag?' thingie so I thought I'd take the liberty of tagging myself this morning because

a) I was frantically searching for something anyway so my bag's contents were already littering the hotel room

b) I didn't find that something, which was a USB stick containing some new 'fashion' photos I took for the blog

c) I thought it would make for interesting insight in a few years time as to what my life was like via the contents of my bag

d) It would show that I don't really give a fuck that I was left out of a fun blogosphere ritual and that I'm shameless enough to do it on my own

So here goes...

WHAT'S IN MY BAG, MINUS THE BAG (I'll do bags later)

1. Two sets of headphones, one regular external noise cancelling pair, one water/sweat proof pair for the gym. I keep it on me at all times these days because I've stupidly started training for a half marathon with my co-workers and we got a good corporate deal for the gym down the street from where we work.

2. (At this stage) a VERY old school 30GB iPod, still going strong

Currently listening to: Deep Purple - Mandrake Root

Get on it.

3. Hand sanitizer. For someone who spontaneously asks her boyfriend to come lie in the spit/shit/piss ridden grass with her and who has no problem abiding by the three second rule and drinking water from the tap, I feel kind of silly carrying this, but I mean, you gotta keep SOMEthing clean, I guess. Do you carry it? Just curious...

4. Planner. I love planning.

5. One of many circular sixties sunnies.

6. A painfully old Motorola phone. In the last 5 months, I have either lost or had stolen three mobile phones. Touch screens, cute bumble bee coloured Blackberry-esque Samsungs, all sorts...in taxis, on highways, in bars...hence a re-connection with this trooper I used in the UK. The battery only lasts about halfway through one 10 minute conversation, mind you, but hey, text messaging is still a handy way to keep in touch, right?

7. Digital dictaphone - a journalist's best and worst companion

8. Office building access card

9. Travel-sized bottle of CK Summer - I love the CK Summer scents so a while back I picked up a travel-sized collection of the last few released. Speaking of perfumes though, I kinda dig Thierry Mugler's 'Alien', but I never quite imagined myself wearing a scent called 'Alien'? Ah, fuck it.

10. (underneath bottle) those nose blotcher thingies for greasy-faced people. Thank you, daddy, for such a gifted T-zone!

11. Wallet containing 500 borrowed dirhams, a silly library card-esque laminated Trinidadian driver's license, a new Emirates Identity Card so no bouncers will laugh at my library card license anymore, a newly activated bank card (had mine stolen recently), an expired HSBC card (guys, obviously, you're fired so stop sending me mail), Waterstone's card, business cards, photos of exes it's probably time I stashed elsewhere, Chinese, American and Filipino dollars (interesting...a combination of my ex's origins), and a loyalty card for the Pinkberry of Abu Dhabi known as Yogoday (HEY, THEY DO TAKEOUT NOW!)

12. Two sets of house keys - mine for my new studio, the other for my parent's place becuse my dad's convinced I'll be back soon. Works wonders when they're out of town though.

13. Cup'O'Soup and green tea, just in case I feel faintish during fasting, although my stomach pretty much calls it a day from noon after realising that furiously grumbling has been getting it nowhere.

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

IF ONLY HIDING WERE SO EASY

2010-08-20T07:55:00.000+01:00

Having not a scrap of internet in my new flat is sort of refreshing. I haven't read this much in a long time...
Some I've just finished or am working my way through...

I suppose I recommend all, but none of the others have been quite as sexy to read as my Murakami's Norweigan Wood. And I hear The Passage is something to hold on to so hard your knuckles turn white with fear. I'm still only at the beginning of this 784-page grownup, uncuddly vampire saga of the summer, but I'll let you know if and when my knuckles fall in line.

(And Becks, dearest, if you're reading, I am still trying to make my way through Kafka on the Shore, and that's only because I want to fully capture every moment. Riveting stuff. And I know my absence from Facebook makes it seem as if I've died but Facebook just isn't my ideal way to spend the last few remaining months of the year. Miss you too!)

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER HOTEL

2010-08-20T07:37:00.000+01:00

I may be on the verge of taking advantage of everyone's Ramadan inspired goodness by begging on the streets but I haven't had much to complain about recently, it seems. Take last weekend, for example, on a private island not so far, far away...

...completely secluded stretches of pristine beach, your own villa with private splash pool and amazing claw food tub, et al. They weren't so keen on letting me off scot free with this review, though, which is why I had to pinch a few bills off mother dearest yesterday. I think the tub (and being greeted in the morning by dozens of elegantly grazing gazelles) was worth it though.

This weekend, I am here.

doing fuck-all...

Business chain, heart of dirty down town, kiddie-sized pool, so-so food...

But pretty nice rooms, gorgeous city views, free wireless...

and my favourite type of lighting!

Anyway, I am off to enjoy my room serviced suhour (the later than late late night snack Muslims indulge in before fasting at sunrise - yes, I am fasting this Ramadan. It's going really well, in case you were interested).

RAMADAN KAREEM!

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

PICTURES OF HOME

2010-08-10T17:06:00.003+01:00

I've been dreaming of seating a lot over the past few months. I guess it's a new home (studio) owner (renter) thing...

Above are my favourites at the ridiculously swanky Fairmont Hotel opposite my house. Sometimes I just go sit in their lobby with the cheapest beverage I can find on the menu just to enjoy them. I even already have the contact for the chair buyers and will spit out shitloads to grab those rope ones before anyone else does the next time the hotel does a design/decorating overhaul.

But like Fairmont furniture, rent in Abu Dhabi is merciless, and I don't have shitloads.

So I was well excited when I stumbled upon my very own chair project one day on the bus home from work. I somehow managed to find a pair of dusty wing-backed armchairs perched on the edge of a construction site one day. And with some less than flawless Arabic conversation with the labourers - thanks to the boyf - I got them for free (AND they put them in the back of the car for me!). Since then, dumpster diving has become my new thing.

BEFORE...

MIDWAY...at the upholsterer's

MOVING DAY!!!...

TODAY!!!...

WITH ITS SISTER!!!

Very much in love! I almost never sit on them, or let anyone sit on them. If I do, I'm constantly vigilant for spills and stains coming from their person......that's how much.

Seriously though, Abu Dhabi is the best place to dumpster dive because it's one of the most wasteful cities in the world. My daily 30 minute jogs around my hood on an evening reveal many a secondhand pleasantry! I always come home with some great junk or other that keeps The Fox's eyeballs rolling.

P.S. Speaking of chairs, while I was away on holiday last week, someone replaced my comfy office swivel chair with a uncool, uncomfy stationary one, and I am not at all pleased....but with these babies, I easily let that slide by the end of the day.

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

I'M GONNA TAKE YOU FOR WORSE OR BETTER

2010-08-06T11:27:00.004+01:00

I have to admit, I'm back on this thing a lot sooner than I had expected, but this really great girl emailed me last week with the sweetest words about my blog, and she made me realise that there are still people out there reading and enjoying my bullshit, and I really shouldn't deny them that. Especially not now when I'm about to do tons more craziness.

Like fasting and training for a marathon in the same month. For one. It's just nearing Ramadan time in the UAE and I have decided that I will fast this year. Properly. Last year when I did it, I didn't have a job so it was more a matter of partying all night, sleeping all day then waking up just in time to start eating again around 6-ish. But this time, I have a full time job...a little more than full time since being a journalist often involves many unfortunately very attractive after work engagements...and this time, my office building isn't cutting us fasters any slack. I will be at work surrounded by British expats chowing on beans, eggs and toast in the morning and tuna ciabattas at lunch while trying hard not to swallow my saliva or faint in between typing a really witty paragraph. No food or drink between the hours of 6am and 6pm. No sex...in all its forms (which should be interesting since I now live with my constantly erect Palestinian boyfriend and being off the pill has sparked a similar situation in my loins). And a LOT less booze (sorry, I'm an alcoholic).

I am also pretty big on Muay Thai these days (especially on a Friday morning as punishment for unruly drinking habits the night before) and am about to be honoured with those special fringed shorts the fighters wear, but with a cobra smack on the crotch area to represent the club I roll with. YEAH! So excited about that.

AND I found a sick tattoo artist in Sharjah that my MT teacher is going to take me to see for my next piece (in case you're wondering why I'm so excited about a fucking tattoo artist, tattoo and piercing parlours are sort of illegal in the UAE and sort of don't exist - it's so bad, I can stop traffic if I leave the house in my bullring).

And it's true what they say about Indians - they know how to make money out of anything and are total businessmen. I'm now rolling with this new girl at work that I'm going to call The Mogul. She has a passion for fashion and money making and despite the way I used to feel about working with other people (pretty much 'NO'), she really gets my ass in gear and things are getting done just BECAUSE someone else is involved. So, although a little distracted from our real work in the office from time to time, we work really well together and we might see this "thing" launch soon. But I won't say anything else just yet.

So back to that sweet girl who wrote to me...except I have to retrace my steps a little to tell this story right.

I've been seeing this reiki practitioner some weeks to get my colours cleaned and my body healed and all that (don't ask). And during my last session, he told me that he had a vision of an owl while he was working on me and that I should be aware of them if I see any in the near future. He said the owl was a sign of protection. And I thanked him and left. The following day was when this girl wrote to me. She told me she had just launched her clothing line and I checked it out...and it's pretty cool...Owl prints and all...

"The Owl print was the first made specifically for women, I won’t bore you with the symbolism of the owl at the end of the day it’s a kick arse pattern for kick arse girls. Being black and white it’s great for mix and match and the t-shirts look good tuck in or out, take it and make it your own.
Made from naturally sustainable bamboo a resource that is being used increasingly in the world of fashion. The material itself is light, near translucent and softer than cotton, it’s cool in summer, warm in the winter and feels almost as if you’re wearing liquid gold. If I had my way I’d wrap the world in it.
Its machine washable and suitable for use all year long, save the world one t-shirt at a time!
Blend 70% Bamboo 30% Organic Cotton"

And I just love these other two

...couldn't hurt to buy a couple tshirts, right?

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

SOME PEOPLE DIE JUST A LITTLE

2010-07-29T13:28:00.000+01:00

I figured I needed a comeback soundtrack. This'll so fucking do.

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

DON'T CALL MY NAME

2010-06-14T19:30:00.000+01:00

HIATUS

I took some time off work, and in that time off I...got dumped and got a UTI so far advanced it had me rolling around in bed for a week with high fever, body shivers, heart palpitations, breathing problems and body aches. And I just missed two days off work on top of that. People have been throwing cold water on me, poking me with needles, forcefeeding me, peeling me off of floors...It sounds like a Gaga video but I promise you it wasn't as visually stimulating. So yeah, I think this is called for.

But honestly, it's more than that. I feel like I've outgrown this space. Originally, the idea was to shut it down but I'm the competitive type, and even though I am not striving to do 'Blog of the Month' blogging or be plastered on the sides of buses or billboards (what? :D), I know I'm going to regret no longer being 'part of the loop'. And outside of London, this still is the one space where I feel completely free to be the real goof that I am, because as open-minded as this city wants to be (the same city that Sex and the City 2 is based on, but which refused to let their crew in for filming because "we just don't have sex in our city like that") they still have a long way to go. I've already turned it down several notches, and it's still not enough for these people - I just don't know how much lower I can go. But anyway, another reason I won't shut it down is because what's also great about blogging for me is that it's like producing your own shitty magazine, which in turn works wonders therapeutically as I'm currently working under a slightly unhinged editor.

In conclusion, I am very drugged up and I will probably see you very soon. I just love feeling sorry for myself.

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

MAKE ANYONE CRY TODAY? SADLY, NO, BUT IT'S ONLY 4.30

2010-06-06T09:45:00.001+01:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KA9rNLZX2G8

I have the DVD and watched it again one lame night last week, but seriously? The whole movie is up there! Look how good I am to you. I used to want to be Katerina Stratford so badly. Now I'm back on it. And Heath Ledger in this is just...is it wrong to put the deceased in your spank bank? Sorry, that was majorly offensive. For what it's worth, I always thought he had superb talent.

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

PATCHIN' THAT SHIT UP

2010-06-06T09:09:00.000+01:00

I don't know if it counts as rock star sexy or as plain rude if you drunkenly propose to your girl with a cigarette in one hand and booze in the other, but I'll take it.

Just kidding. He would never marry me. Not unless he valued his manhood.

...Looking over some pictures from last weekend...If I hadn't taken Susan Miller's advice and booked myself in for a mini break at the end of May, then I probably would've fainted last week at work - it was very testing. Not only was one of our main writers off on holiday in London, we moved to the supposed new media hub in town that's actually really so far out of town, you can get lost wandering around in the desert looking for noon time supplements - too much to ask? Jesus, I've been eating ziplock bagged grapes and granola with green tea (and occasionally packaged organic miso soup) everyday for the last week, and it's starting to show. I know, I know, I'm learning a very valuable and wallet-friendly lesson here, but it doesn't really mean shit when it's Print Day and I'm scrambling to piece together another feature because we had to drop the last one due to someone failing to advertise, and everyone's already half past frazzled not because it's 6pm, but because there's no more sugar in the entire office for tea. Needless to say, that weekend getaway to Yas Island replenished my energy levels and I made it through. On the other hand, if I hadn't taken that mini break, I would've had a lot more money to work with this month instead of 1000 dirhams MAX!

But that's when being a journalist becomes the coolest - when you're really down and out but you have a business card file full of reliable clients who will practically suck on your big toe if you so much as mention THINKING about spending time at their establishment for your precious 5 days off. DAY 1 of my 5-day holiday sees me, yes okay, applying for a national ID card (because they're threatening to make my money innaccessible if I don't get one, among other things), returning a leather fringe jacket and neon green crop top because they are just only okay and I'd much rather have some money to feed myself over the next few days, but also meeting with a PR person I actually adore for a 4 star lunch on Radisson Blu. I also have some 'I owe you one' spa treatments and hotel facility day passes lined up over the week that I've been saving up for a time just like this. A bit pathetic, but I think it comes with the territory.

As for now, I'm just enjoying the fact that I've been lying on my bed for the whole morning, that there's plenty of sugar for tea to go around at home and that I have ample reading material to plough through from way back when I was under the impression that I would still have time to read one novel a week and still work.

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

DIE AND GO TO HEAVEN

2010-05-25T15:59:00.000+01:00

There's no denying I've been a bad blogger, and all I have to say about it is that it has recently been drawn to my attention that I am a workaholic...so much so that a couple weeks ago, I ordered some scrambled eggs from the cafe at work on my way into the office, paid for it, ran up to get set up on my Microsoft Word, swore I collected it 15 minutes later when it was ready, ripped my way through it with glee and was told the day after that it was still there in a bag behind the counter waiting for me. Now if I've been working so hard that I'm imagining eating things (and doing god knows what else - shitting? fucking?), then I should be catwalk ready and bound by now, but bulges one through seven on my stomach suggest otherwise.

Today, however, for some miraculous reason, they've let me off early - Tuesday is print day so we typically listlessly roam the office hallways well past 8pm waiting for fuck-ups to pop up on the printer and wondering if anyone would miss us if we skipped over to the hotel next door for a shot of tequila. So here I am..for you. But where the fuck are you? No more Japanese spammers, please! I want actual reader commentary!

Fuck, I'm a mess. I have actually been forced into accepting that a holiday is long overdue for me. Susan Miller has foreseen a few days of rest for me this month. Umm, really? Where? Apparently, it's this weekend so I am now grumbling as I book myself and The Fox in for a retreat.

Other things I'm doing: hardcore hatha yoga by candlelight (found an amazing teacher), plastic bottle recycling (or rather I have a heap of bottles under my bed pretty much getting the same treatment as regular waste, AND I am now being referred to as the girl with the drinking problem at work (probably a double entendre) - people are sneaking empty bottles onto my desk while I'm away on one of my overly long leaks), carpooling, home finishings shopping, obsessing over this article and feeling more and more pointless with every paragraph.

And now instead of enjoying the softness of my fat ass as I sit on it doing nothing (which I never have the liberty of doing on a Tuesday), I am going to go to the gym, then walk (not carpool) over to yoga class. See you on the skinny side.

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

CHARLOTTE SOMETIMES

2010-05-12T21:19:00.002+01:00

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

EASTERN GLOW

2010-05-12T21:15:00.000+01:00

This is where I work. Beautiful, isn't it?

One thing I seriously adore about this city is that there is nowhere you can't lay your weary bones and just appreciate life without people thinking you're a dork and/or a sick gazer. The working class just roll out a scrap of sheet and picnic on the side of the road with friends (no space at home) and the muslims just roll out their prayer mats wherever and whenever they please to keep Allah posted. And when I say wherever and whenever, I mean like stopping their cars at the side of the road during rush hour and genuflecting. Why not? I fucking love that. Just came back from watching an open air movie with The Fox (yes, we're on attempt number 3 and 5 months in), and on our way home I made him lie wth me on the grass at the side of the road. Even though he said 'you know, people spit here. Anyway, I know you'll shower after this' then looked at his watch after I brushed him off with a smile, the five minutes spent gazing up at the glistening facade of my towering building (there weren't any stars to speak of, or look at) made him realise the beauty in my spit and grass madness, and maybe something bigger. He just got home and sent me a text message saying:

'I'm having such a wonderful time with you. You're making my life happier. Thanks for a lovely evening. I love you'

For the record, I'm not showering.

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

A FELICIDADE

2010-05-12T20:52:00.000+01:00

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

EVER SO TALENTED

2010-05-11T00:07:00.000+01:00

a very poor, disheveled and uninspired work look. The month of May just doesn't roll off my tongue that well.

thoughts/facts/beliefs:

cats aren't THAT bad. I may want one.

meow.

muay thai is better than beach boot camp because you get to kick shit.

An asthma attack nearly killed me yesterday so I probably have asthma.

smiling over a break-up is so much more effective than crying. try it.

Kristen Stewart was so ideal circa Adventureland and Into the Wild, and then a vampire came and bit her. Now she's dead.

Blindfolded dinners make you want to have sex.

There is blood everywhere.

Someone got caught under my sheets last week.

I am big into changing my relationship status on facebook so would appreciate it if you'd stop breaking up with me.

I could dress so much better. honest.

You do need a day off. Call in sick.

Banks are never your friend. Silly me.

Become a journalist. You will get into places even when it's a 'private party'.

I want a raise.

I deserve one.

Tuesdays are the new Thursdays.

I really appreciate you but no more Japanese characters please.

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

TIL THE CLOCK STOPS, TIL THE GAME ENDS

2010-05-05T22:37:00.001+01:00

Yes please! From Normann

Last thing you ate: egg fried rice

Last thing you drank: green tea

Last thing you watched: my money disappear

Last thing you bought: 6 months rent

Last thing you returned: probably something from Zara I overexcitedly purchased under the impression that I was skinny

Last thing you dreamt of: my boyfriend cheating on me

Last thing you fought with someone about: being moody

Last thing you regretted: nothing

Last thing you forgot: how big your boobs can get leading up to your period. Big scare this morning.

Last thing you wrote: an article probably

Last text you received: 'I have one thing to say to you Miss Kara. Fantastic....' from my new landlord (!!!!)

Last thing you laughed at: penis conversation. Heck, even the word 'penis' makes me smile. It's a DICK, okay!?

Last thing you read: the latest issue of our mag before it got sent out to the public an hour ago.

Last thing you felt proud about: being part of a publication that just got ranked the number one magazine in the UAE. Champagne and higher pay for everyone...or so we all hope.

Last thing you considered: not going to work tomorrow

Last person you spoke to: The Fox

Last thing you saw that you wanted: a coffee table! Seriously. NOT a pair of shoes.

Last thing you stole: his heart

Last thing you realised: that I am so tied down to this apartment now that I won't be able to travel at all this year. Real bummer. I had big plans: the UK for Download Festival, Lollapalooza in Chicago, Istanbul, surfing and humanitarian acts in Ecuador...

Last thing you decided: to go to work tomorrow

Honourable mentions this week:

the mushroom soup at The One, soup generally, champagne, the perks of being poor, spa treatments, blindfolded dinners, sustainable schools, fitness, polyvore, mothers, surprises, random acts of kindness, tea with milk, dressing better for work, carpooling

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

I CUT LIKE A BUFFALO

2010-04-28T15:32:00.006+01:00

The Fox slept over the other night and left his sword necklace - originally something I was swooning over and thinking of buying in Aldo Accessories, which he had the audacity to pick up on the spot and buy for himself (!!!) so it's rightfully mine anyway. The only thing is you weren't supposed to shower in it, dude, so now the chain is rusted. I'm going to buy a longer one anyway, and then it'll be perfect. I wouldn't take it off ever either though but I'm a heavy sleeper and as cool as it sounds to say that your jewelry stabbed you, I'm not having it.

IȾ iϟ Ẇrittɇn.

GOD IS NOT THE ONLY ONE WATCHING

2010-04-28T15:02:00.007+01:00

...and that's how it's done. THAT'S how you live.

And OF COURSE the owner of a place like this is named Cindy Gallop. What else would she be called, yuh know? Extra Fucking Credit.

I can't stress how much this place is blowing. my. mind. So glad I found it right on the cusp of renting my first apartment in Abu Dhabi and am thoroughly re-inspired. Speaking of my potential new home...dear readers, I am terrified. It's perfect. And I promise after today to never gush over it ever again until I am moving in because I'm afraid to jinx it. It's the cheapest and biggest studio I've seen in town so far. It's brand spanking new, includes water and electricity, has a huge window, HUGE white rooftop (say hello to better outfit of the day photos), 24 hour fitness centre with sauna, parking spot, 10 mins away from where I work and smack opposite some of my favourite hangouts (can already see myself rolling home at 4am). What's the catch? I'll have to pay a year's rent up front plus deposit and agency fees. So my mum and I are scraping up some serious cash right now, and this is exactly why even though I have a pretty badass fulltime job with matching salary (which I just received), I ate cup noodles for lunch today and will be serving drinks on my friend's boat this weekend for a measly 50 dirhams an hour. I can't remember if I told you about this friend - The English Russian? - He lives on a boat, has a diamond drilled into one of his canines and likes BDSM. He also offered to lend me some of the money. I politely refused though...

YEAH, I FIGURED OUT HOW TO MAKE MY PICTURES BIGGER. DADDY LIKEY!

[photos from The Selby]

IF YOU ASK ME, IM READY TO DO THE UNTHINKABLE

2010-04-25T23:38:00.024+01:00

...LATEST ACHIEVEMENTS...

bag: H&M

Wang/Farrow wannabes: Forever 21

Seriously more amazing on my feet and in person caged heels (already scoffed from thrice weekly wearage) : New Look (I KNOW!)

I'm well aware that it's more effective to wear my pieces for you rather than snap them on the floor in front of heaps of clothing, but confidence is at an all time low right now as I've reached the 'Interfuckingmission' on the Woodstock: The Director's Cut DVD, which is brimming with the most beautiful long-limbed lifeforms I've ever seen since Avatar in 3D (and these guys are real!), not to mention I had to review a highrollers-and-their-hoes private beach club this weekend rightly named Plastik - I've never been so painfully aware of myself. I swear, even if I wanted to stay longer than the tragic hour that I did spent smoking menthols and pretending to enjoy the sunset, I probably wouldn't have made it out of there alive what with all those dangerously hard nipples threatening to gouge my ever-swivelling eye out. Another thing that doesn't help my case much is the fact that I've chosen to date an Arabic Adonis. But I won't even bother getting started on that guy right now. Enough of him was had last night for me to refrain from mentioning him for the rest of the week. I'll try my bestest.

This week's honourable mentions:

truffle pasta from Jones the Grocer, re-introducing myself to my septum piercing, THAT apartment, astrologyzone.com, 'Strange Fruit' by Siouxsie and the Banshees, working wet hair, legalizing my employment, getting beaten and beating back HARD at Muay Thai, my new 'army' jacket, malteser's, 1.5 litres of water a day, meditation via candlelight, plastic recycling, telling people what I really want

LISTENING TO YOU, I GET THE MUSIC

2010-04-20T21:17:00.006+01:00

I just worked 14 hours, and then when it was time for dinner, I worked again as I had to review the restaurant. But ending off a day like this by watching Woodstock: The Director's Cut, the sexy people that walked the face of that period (including fringe jacketed Roger Daltry) and hearing this song (with the help of a little alcohol) makes me not mind facing it all again tomorrow. I think the Woodstock DVD should be a prerequisite to any work day. And alcohol.

But speaking of Woodstock (and let me take a convenient moment to wish you happy 4/20), something like (and unlike) the modern day equivalent will be hitting my shores this weekend and I plan to get thoroughly wet and wild for Damian Marley on the Saturday. And that is all.

HALF OF THE TIME WE'RE GONE BUT WE DON'T KNOW WHERE

2010-04-11T20:56:00.019+01:00

This is a big one...(oh, and I actually wrote it today, the 16th, rather than the 11th but it was a draft from before...not that it matters)

Ah, yes, April, the month of fools. This is a picture of what I thought was probably the last smile of mine for April as hours later reality punched me in the face. I scattered my salary across Dubai Mall like the ashes of someone you thought couldn't die fast enough into the Atlantic Sea. Kiddos, my wallet is so badly bruised that the office was in shock yesterday to see me join them in the kitchen with a cup of noodles that I pulled from my new office drawer stash - 'you finally caught on; life in Abu Dhabi is deceptively expensive. Welcome!' Hey, well at least I make broke look good with my caged stilettos, studded Zara jacket, H&M skinnies with leather knees and shameless copy of the Wang/Farrow sunglasses; cuppa noodles never looked this sexy.

To put salt on the rim and a lemon wedge on top of that, The Fox and I have been apartment hunting - yes, I know; it's way too soon. We should at least have a pregnancy scare first haha. But what can I say? For me, 2010 is all about going with my gut feeling. In fact, we visited one seriously perfect candidate last night and I have to say, it literally hurts my heart the way they go about leasing these things here. You're expected to pay the full year up front. I imagine that right now you're grabbing your pockets and wincing the way guys tense up and pass a hand near their crotch when something really bad happens to a character's penis in a movie. Maybe, since this blog is starting to gain a lot more interest, I should get you guys to sign a petition for me to get it down to at least 4 payments a year. Seal that with a kiss, et voila. I'm adorable enough to get away with it, right? We'll see; because the way I've sort of quietly nudged this topic into family dinner conversation, the parental unit is not at all pleased and I may have to take matters into my own hands.

Also, since I can't own a Mercedes G-Class Off-roader (although technically I can own anything I say I can, says my hypnotherapist) another thing I could see myself spending a small fortune on this year is a Jeep Wrangler Sport in Rescue Green, which for some reason has been conveniently presenting itself all over town these last couple weeks. I hailed one once like a cab just to see if my mind was powerful enough yet that it would stop, eject its passenger, ever so slightly recline the seat to suit and start playing Empire of the Sun. But no, not yet; my mind still has a long way to go.

No more weekly quirky nail colour applications from my lovely Filipino gal pals next door.

As if I didn't feel milked already, I now have an udder on my head; a souvenir from my brother who just made his first trip to Turkey. He's very pleased with himself too. He's going away to college soon in Canada and I felt that if I bought him an iPod nano (he's never owned an MP3 Player and we've already hit 2010) that I would get something really great back in return for my selfless act. I got udders. But I jest; I didn't expect anything major back from him; from the forces that be, maybe. Ever since I started doing hypnotherapy, I've realised something very simple about the world and the energy we share in it. Think of a revolving clothesline with clean and dirty laundry on it. The more clean clothes I put out on it to dry, the more dry, clean clothes than dirty should come back around on it to me. And if dirty laundry is coming round the bend, I don't have to pick it up; it's my choice what I decide to gather and put out. I think that's the best way to describe it.

I could probably call my life right now by the same title but no unfair moment lasts forever. Unfair is a new magazine in Abu Dhabi that's actually based in Paris, and I was thinking of sending over my CV just for the hell of it, as it's fashion and all and at the moment I write about everything from the best nurseries in the city to where you can sample camel pizza. Don't get me wrong, I love my job to bits and pieces but it would be nice to get that one step closer to the perfect scenario; and as you're probably aware, perfect scenario for me means making a living writing while being comfortably seated at one of the best tables in fashion heaven. So instead of seeking outside help to achieve this, I threw some freshly washed linens onto the clothesline. I proposed a fashion section to my editorial team and it looks like...*cue Travis Barker on the drums*...I am now head of fashion at our magazine! So much to do to prepare! So much to wear and to see worn!

What's more is I am supposed to be throwing my first sale event next month - as frequent readers may already know, I've been investing a little money into rounding up some unique and cute pieces I find on my travels (and in obscure shops around town) for my own mini business and it's been going really well. But as the deadline draws nearer, I don't think I've gathered enough for a full wine and cheese event so I may just do some wardrobe spring cleaning and sell a few items secondhand as well. A studio apartment simply won't be able to hold all this clothes anyway.

And then here's me in a magazine itself! Kind of beyond embarassing but it's funny because in the photo we can see my new Samsung Corby mobile phone which was stolen that very same day on my way home from work (I'm pretty sure this was in April too). I bought it 6 days before that. Now because my hypnotherapist has been diligently implanting positive thoughts into my mind as I sit in the deepest darkest depths of it in search of The Uber Kara, prior to sessions I would've said 'FUCK MY LIFE' or sung 'More Money, More Problems' then holed up in my room with a bottle from my parent's cabinet and put myself to sleep to some Doom Metal. But I don't believe in saying things like this anymore because believe me, it really is mind over matter and so far, despite all this, somehow my life has been going amazingly.

So what's on the agenda for today? I've already foolishly decided against Muay Thai this morning and my body (which has been very keen to become Lady Gaga's recently) is not pleased for the break in the slightest, so up next (if The Fox will take my calls) is some big beach party on another island just off Abu Dhabi. My friend the English Russian lives on a boat and so he might be taking a couple of folks over, feeding us, boozing us up and entertaining us with silly BDSM jokes first though, which the party promoters aren't! I know; I've already given myself a pat on the back for choosing the right friends!

JUST A LITTLE BIT TAINTED

2010-04-11T18:50:00.004+01:00

It fucking sucks how addictive tattooing is.

Which one should I get?

My money's on 'wholeness'

PRAYERS BEFORE BED

2010-03-27T22:33:00.005Z

CAN'T LAY MY HEAD ON THAT PILLOW WITHOUT POSTING THESE...

TOTAL.

FUCKING.

KILLERS.

Kill City/Gabriella Marina Gonzalez/Our Lord and Saviour

A FEELING TO MAINTAIN

2010-03-27T21:28:00.014Z

A random Radisson Blu moment...

Ever got in a spat with someone you were seeing then had to endure a swelling silence while going through one of those automatic car washes? Oh my God, I swear that just happened to me. Only thing uttered, "This would be pretty neat to do while high"

Interesting...

In all fairness, a lot of interesting things have been going on in my life lately....muay thai classes....hypnotherapy sessions...more on those at a later date but by the way, both I higher than highly recommend! Umm so I have to get some sleep right about now if I'm going to face the manic work day I anticipate most Sundays (yeah we work Sundays and our weekends start Thursdays), so I'll just fill out a questionnaire thingie so we can catch up.

Last thing you ate: popcorn

Last thing you drank: coke

Last thing you watched: Daybreakers (because we were too late for Shutter Island and I was hoping in vain to see some cum-inducing vampire scenes)

Last thing you bought: bag and skirt from Zara

Last thing you returned: an HTC phone

Last thing you dreamt of: a very strange film showcasing the vagina in many different shapes and forms...I sat watching it with Rihanna who had a guest appearance. Twas pretty gross

Last thing you fought with someone about: littering

Last thing you regretted: buying that Zara skirt in XS

Last thing you forgot: that Earth Hour was being celebrated today so I plan to switch off everything for an hour everyday this week instead

Last thing you wrote: an article probably

Last text you received: A purchase of AED 545.00 was authorized from your NBAD Debit Mastercard at blah blah blah

Last thing you laughed at: a vampire exploding

Last thing you read: a few more chapters of Kafka on the Shore while relaxing on the beach

Last thing you felt proud about: waking up early as fuck on Friday to go to Muay Thai class after partying hard the night before, then after training doing 100 air punches, 50 push ups, 30 then 20 then 10 kicks on either side in 3 mins 15 secs. - I beat Monday's time (5 mins)!

Last thing you considered: A Blackberry (no thanks)

Last person you spoke to: The Fox

Last thing you saw that you wanted: an army green Jeep Wrangler

Last thing you stole: some really expensive looking chopsticks from a bar

Last thing you realised: just how fucking powerful the mind is

Last thing you decided: to relax, get some sleep and wake up and deal with the shit tomorrow instead

ARE YOU SERIOUSLY STILL HURTING?

2010-03-21T20:45:00.004Z

They're all sold out. ouch.
Actual Pain.

AND SATELLITES THAT COMPROMISE THE TRUTH

2010-03-17T19:32:00.011Z

ummm yeah?

Karen Walker.

But still...even though I have no clue how I'll be able to pull them off, I'll be investing in...

Wang/Linda Farrow madness

P.S. I love this bar. That Hotel is the shit too. The chairs in the hot white lobby are massive neon bean bags.

FLUSH

2010-03-15T20:27:00.012Z

In case you wanted to see some of my favourite artist's art pieces jumping around...

...literally

Hillier in da House! I haven't visited his site in a while but these are my latest of his 'inactive' pieces that I adore.

Really missing London today...

I CAN TELL THAT WE ARE GONNA BE FRIENDS

2010-03-13T20:06:00.004Z

I'm sure you guys have heard about this film. Along with that other one Jack White stars in on guitarists (It Might Get Loud), which I sadly didn't get to catch while in Cali last year, I've been wanting to watch this one for several months now. It follows the band as they embarked on a cross-country Canadian tour with the goal of performing in every province and territory across the northern nation. It's probably nothing that non-Stripes fans would be interested in but I get the fattest lady erections for Jack - who I hear is obnoxious, but you would be if you were him, so give him a break. Not to mention, I of course love their work. The box set came out yesterday and I think they'll also have a coffee table book, and some live CDs and DVDs in association with it. Any Stripes fans out there think the DVD is worth buying?

MUSING IS AMUSING

2010-03-13T19:22:00.010Z

Found this on a party website just now and thought you'd find it amusing...mildly. This is way back in January when the Fox and I had realised that we nearly share the same birthday so we made a pact to party for the entire month to celebrate..and that's how we realised we kinda should just cut the shit and date each other (partying with someone for a whole month straight is actually a cool way to get to know them, provided that you retain the memories). On this particular night we decided to borrow his brother's dirty jeep and drive to another emirate (state) to party (well...hardly, as Dubai is like 1.5 hours away but still...). Booked a hotel and went to the beach the next morning. As vomit-inducing as our matching gear is, it wasn't planned in the slightest. And for the record, he dresses a lot better now. And I know, he is so not my type (but isn't that how it always goes?).

This is my type:

a flaming haired snowboarding olympian wearing American flag jeans and posing like a tard for Rolling Stone (and who sadly is the spitting image of a French guy I fell in love with after we holed up in bed for 2 days straight - in the non-sexual Yoko-John sense - then never saw again). Yes, Shaun White is my man. Even though he ignored my congratulatory note on Twitter the other day, like the chai lattes at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf (who I just discovered is in my office building - one of only 2 branches in this city), I can't get enough of him. What's more is I'm sure I could've easily caught him raiding the racks of the Kill City store on Melrose when I was in LA last summer because apparently he's a big fan. WHICH MEANSSSS Shaun White and I have something in common! We love KC gear and we both get free shit from them. HAHA! Could a day when we compare, admire and then rip our KC gear off each other and do unmentionably explicit things be approaching in the not too distant future? Stay tuned.

P.S.: How is my blogging? Call 666-FUCKYEAH to comment.

DECKADENT

2010-03-12T14:57:00.005Z

HONESTLY, who the fuck lives in Illinois? But anyway, if you do, you best be checking this shit out....

The 'beer, boobs, booze and boards' tagline should cover any explanations you may desire, but basically, to spit it out, it's a party and an exhibish where all these rad artistic people like Kesh customize some old fucked up skateboards. I'd kill to see the outcome (and I'm sure Kesh will do a follow-up post on it) but yeah, I'm busy on the deserted Yas Island not so much enjoying a complimentary 2 nights stay at one of the new hotels. The Fox is with me. We just fought....3 times. We've stuffed ourselves silly on all sorts of complimentary fare and are supposed to meet the group up again at the pool bar for more complimentary junk at several venues across the island. It sounds all lush and jealous-worthy, but believe me, once you get used to complimentary this and that, it gets tired...fast. I'm a fat pig with bad skin and a foul temper. Looking forward to going back home and sitting on the stationary bike upstairs for the rest of my life. Pictures to come. Enjoy your weekend.

BENCH-PRESSING TWENTY ODD THINGS BEFORE BREAKFAST

2010-03-08T18:11:00.006Z

So literally the first thing I did when I touched down in Manila (apart from put back in my nose ring and limply hug a never-ending line-up of long lost friends from the US and UK, including Panda) was scope out a tattoo parlour. Luckily there was one next door to my hotel so by the time we hit the clubs that night, I was totally rocking it.

Of course my arm was grabbed to no end that night so it stung like a bitch but it's the price you pay, right? Not sure if you can read it but it says '...and she lived happily ever after'. I was toying with doing the whole 'Once upon a time..' business on my other arm but my wallet told me to hold off and see where my bills ended up near the end of the trip (and boy am I lucky I refrained). Anyway, just to add, as someone who has suffered from clinical depression since she was 12, I am absolutely obsessed with happiness and chasing it. So that should explain that one. As for now, as Jay-Z would say...'on to the next one.'

CITIZEN ERASED

2010-03-08T17:47:00.002Z

Currently reading...

I'm really enjoying stories about teenage boys just this moment...

IF I LAY HERE WILL YOU WALK ALL OVER ME?

2010-03-08T17:33:00.003Z

Trust Ji Kim to score amazing boots like these while abnormally vintage shopping. I have no idea what that says for someone like me who is seasoned in scouring the earth for vintage. But she always dominates every and anything and every and anyone. Of course I adore the lace dress too (do I have to spit everything out all the time?).

I'M GONNA NEED YOU TO SAY SOMETHING

2010-03-08T16:45:00.009Z

It's so much easier to ease back into blogging with the help of a song....

And with that sung, let us vent...

"So she finally decides to show up...what fucking nerve! Abandons us like a Friday night cum shot and expects us to congregate again like nothing ever happened...which nothing did for over 2 bloody weeks! Seriously. The. Nerve."

Well. I hope that covers it but feel free to make good use of my comment box because even if you're typing my ear off about how shitty I am as a blogger, it beats only receiving junk from Japanese spammers.

Recently I've been:

sleeping in seedy whore-infested motels in Manila - getting more tattoos - partying on the beach by moonlight in Boracay - slurping duck embryos straight from the egg like shots - wearing denim shirts, feathers and large tie-dyed scarves - playing tennis again - fantasizing about watching my copy of Woodstock: The Director's Cut...but not watching it - trying to pick the perfect moment to watch it - buying items for my new accessories business - collecting bank from the first couple items sold - trying on fancy jalabiyas (arabic gowns) to the chagrin of many save for the store keeper and myself - speaking lots and lots of arabic - wondering if I am going to become a muslim just because I am ANYTHING BUT - but then drinking lots and lots of alcohol - eating lots and lots of restaurant food due to a huge surge in demand for me to do reviews - getting chunky because of said reviews and rice-crazed Filipino dishes - enforcing another strict fitness/diet regime as a result - getting tagged in way too many unbecoming photos - shopping at Oyshko for pyjama bits and bobs to wear out and about - flipping through the latest UK Elle on the beach with The Fox and having him give me style advice - shaking hands on the idea to take a joint trip to Zara/Zara Men and choose pieces for each other - actually trusting him on this one because he likes girls in baggy tshirts and mini skirts - catching myself off guard talking about The Fox too much like this....that sort of stuff.

And this week I'm:

taking a sushi-making class - interviewing a taxi driver about his harsh Abu Dhabi reality - reviewing another restaurant - enjoying a complimentary 3 night stay at a new amazing hotel - thinking of checking out like a rock star - looking into a short stint in Jordan - buying tickets for my friends' gig with Sir Bob Geldof in Dubai next weekend - doing laundry - probably returning 2/3 of the Oyshko items.

And right now:

I promise to try my best to post at least once a week.

LICKING AND SCRATCHING, AND NEVER MATCHING

2010-02-11T15:42:00.003Z

It's the end of a really hectic work week and I am sitting at home sipping on cold soy vanilla chai tea (soon to be replaced with liqueur), watching RocknRolla on Show on Demand while wearing an almond/cucumber/pineapple face mask that has been on so long it's beginning to hurt. I'm also in that mood you sometimes get in where you want to cut shit up...

Know of it? Wearing these tonight to go to Left Bank with the Palestinians

ANYWAY, what did you get up to this week? I...
-gutted and cut up some expensive gloves
-interviewed major Bollywood star Shahrukh Khan (as well as attended the premiere of his movie My Name is Khan)
-got my period
-bought another pair of sunglasses
-fought with The Fox over which one of us should buy this sword necklace we saw (he won...in an ideal world - going to buy it next week)
-was given a ring...fuck no, not that one but this really cute and quirky one I mentioned liking in passing and which The Fox later picked up for me
-drank Sangria on a terrace with glowing tea candles
-got paid
-booked a hotel in another country
-paid back any outstanding debts I owed
-switched numbers with a gay flight attendant who didn't believe that The Fox (who he was advancing on) wasn't gay
-wrote an article on last minute Valentine's Day gift ideas
-got commissioned to review a German bar this coming Valentine's Day (all complimentary and including a +1!)
-got into Google Alerts in a major way (so ridiculously ideal for writers/bloggers that I don't know how I ever lived without it)
-finally did a blog post on the Kill City blog (and you would think I'd be posting 3 times a day knowing that each post is worth credit to their amazing gear! But no!)
-sat in a cigar bar just to down a drink before going clubbing and was given hors d'oevres that were compliments of the chef...for reasons I don't know
-cried so much my face looked like that of a fat chinese kid at work the next morning
-enjoyed Rihanna's 'Rude Boy' too much for my (and anyone's) own good
-got called Rihanna AGAIN on the street
-finally saw one of those new rare pink ladies' only taxis driving around
-finally fessed up to the office that I was born in 1989
-had chats like this in the office due to lackadaisical last-day-of-the-week behaviour:

Editor: Right, does anyone care to take a needle in the arm for me this afternoon?
Me: depends on what's in it

THERE'S A SCIENCE TO FEAR

2010-02-06T13:44:00.003Z

The fam hit up the Yas Marina Circuit on Yas Island yesterday for the GP2 Asia Series. Not exactly my thing but, like I said in the last post, you have to be there and see F1 racing to actually enjoy it and get into it I think.

Bag and shoes...

The bag's actually several years old and from Forever 21 but I've been rediscovering it because it's huge and perfect for my new journalist's lifestyle. Moccasins - Topshop.

I love what Yas Island is becoming. The architecture and interiors are sick too! One of the hotels...(which has a tunnel that goes straight across the track).

It must be amazing to watch the cars zip by right under you. It is so ridiculously loud and fast and exciting. I LOVE IT!

Although I imagine it'll be an expensive venture, my dad has a friend here who races and I'm going to look into learning how to race. I'm probably also gonna check out the Drag Festival coming up in March.

SOLDIER ON, SOLDIER ON

2010-02-06T12:55:00.005Z

At the moment I'm watching Michelle Pfeiffer's Cat Woman transformation (yeaaahh!!) and thinking I give last night an F minus. Fack! It was the Flatliners (Sambuca, Tequila and Tabasco Sauce), but I love 'em. Anyway, doesn't matter; the night before at Left Bank was a total killer. Stinkin' pure House music, awesome company (an entourage of hot Palestinian guys) and the studded Zara jacket!

So recently I've been...

-getting home at four in the morning

-working my butt off for the mag

-ogling the total sartorial winners in new Spanish store Uterque at Abu Dhabi Mall???!! (OH MY GOD, TOO GOOD!)

-afraid to get my next pay cheque because of said store and the stuff I saw in Zara over the weekend

-a sore loser and decided to cease training for the triathlon (there's just too much going on that I have to fund right now so don't have the money to spare for this (registration fees, gear etc.))

-in awe of the roaring cars at the Yas Marina Circuit (yuh know, I thought Formula 1 racing was boring but it's really one of those sports you have to witness firsthand)

-toying with the idea of learning how to burn rubber on the fuckin' track too!

-enjoying reading Murakami's Kafka on the Shore (albeit at a painfully slow pace)

-smiling everytime I see the E-ticket on my desk for my upcoming trip to the Philippines! (yup! booked! 18th to 26th!)

-listening to drivers' sad life stories in the back of taxis

-getting pleasantly lost in the back streets of town

-getting hair inspiration from a 6 year old blonde girl

-chilling by the pool

-really enjoying the salad buffet at work since I started this whole no-carb thing

-having first fights with The Fox

-hanging with too many ripped, fitness-obsessed Palestinians and feeling a need to up my game at the gym

-gearing up to interview this really famous actor I used to have a crush on when I was a tween!

-having really lacklustre work style that definitely needs to end soon!

-hyper

YOU SHOULD BE AFRAID OF WHAT I'M GONNA DO NEXT

2010-02-03T04:21:00.003Z

TWO THINGS BEFORE I RUSH TO WORK (TO INTERVIEW A BOLLYWOOD STAR I USED TO CRUSH ON AT 11) :

MUSIC VIDEO STUCK IN MY HEAD - FUCK.ME.

SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD. LOVE.LY.

THEN I FELT THE LUXURY OF HER

2010-01-30T20:18:00.007Z

My latest Zara purchase (among many). Okay so I admit, I do feel that studded anything is now two thousand and late (especially for someone who spent 1/4 of her life totally inebriated, head-banging, making out, thowing up and moshing) but I have been waiting to get my henna'd hands -on this ridonculously suit-of-armour-heavy number for ages! At its initial AED 650 price tag, I wasn't impressed (or was heartbroken, rather), but how can you resist a sale price like AED 195?!?

Pardon my lack of a proper setting (and inspiration) with these pics (you gotta start somewhere).

TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT, BUT YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT

2010-01-28T19:21:00.005Z

When I'm having a night out and plan to get beyond fucked with my bad self, certain songs put me in the right frame of mind to get where I'm going ('destination inebriation', if you will). Last night was one such night, and oh was it good...and long overdue. While drinking a beer in the shower and trying to decide what colour face paint to smear across my eyes, this was one of the tracks blaring in the background...

Can't quite place why this old Cradle favourite makes me feel sexy, empowered and a better dresser, but it does. HOT!

Damn...ironically just got a call from Nat and Chass to head out again tonight. This is not going to make traithlon training any easier tomorrow.

YOU SPIN ME RIGHT ROUND

2010-01-28T18:27:00.004Z

It seems a lot more people than I expected enjoy my bullshit so I am going to try and post a couple things tonight...

This would be my best friend in London Mistress Ivy hard at work. She's a librarian. I shit you not. I am waiting for her to explain this one to me. Watch this space..

In other news (and this is such a 2010 thing to do! *barf*) my brother and I are in the middle of plans to enter and start training for this...and I promise (if I don't get it commissioned for a feature), that if all works out, my progress will be a regular segment on here so you can keep abreast of every muscle I pull, bit of food I throw up, 2-pack I gain, strand of chlorine-massacred hair I cry over, and such, and such...

I WANT YOU BLEEDERS

2010-01-26T20:54:00.012Z

Bath essentials?

Looking...at Sweeney Todd on TV and wondering when I'll ever get over his lust-worthy coif..still upset with my hair stylist for telling me my hair would break off if I put a white streak in it (and no, a fake chunk won't suffice)

Reading...Arabic...had my first proper class today!

Drinking...Iced chai tea lattes, as usual

Watching...this Cass Bird trailer over and over of life perfected, starring friends in the Sophomore Spring 2010 collection! (posted on my birthday, might I add)

Smelling of...chlorine

Eating...sashimi...forever

Dreaming of...my upcoming trip to the Philippines! So stoked! Next month, bitches!

Wearing...Zara. Zara. Zara. A sneak peak at my last much anticipated, heavily discounted purchase?

Trying...and failing to be productive - there are so many reasons for which I need to sit in front of this laptop for hours but have only managed to give it the time of day to browse FFFound, update my twitter status, internet bank and stalk Rihanna

Wanting...my motherfucking cheques to arrive in the post already!!!

--------------------------------

On a side note, IT'S SURF SEASON! Have never even lain on a board on the fucking sand but I've been keen to start for years (and what better excuse than a new year?). Scott over at SurfDubai has been sending me loads of cool updates recently and it looks like they're doing a special offer for their surf fit programme (land and water based boot camp happening next month):

The one month course, which consists of 2 sessions a week only costs AED 1000! And if you bring a friend you both pay 900 (bring 2 and you'll pay 800 apiece!!). All equipment provided!

ALSO

This Friday, check them on Sunset Beach (Dubai) in the morning and grab as much free Quiksilver gear as you can (they're their sponsors and are being super generous that day only to celebrate the opening of the season.

Interested? Check those fuckers out!

FIST FULL OF COINS

2010-01-25T17:04:00.021Z

CURRENT INSPIRATION...

1) Model Ursula Konina for The Row...the hair...the sunglasses...the look. Aced it. Current desktop photo for realz!

1a) I've been on the beach with The Fox nearly everyday...not that I need to be in the sun for a decade (or ever) but fresh watermelon juice and choppy english (on his part) and arabic (on mine) while we read and mark up any recent copy I've written for a local mag somehow enable me to lie there and roast for hours.

2) The last act of Baz Luhrmann's Romeo and Juliet...that urban church...??!

2a) I want to name drop some new friends I've made; Nat and Chass of the band Frequnt People. They're a couple who perform nightly at this bar I frequent called Hemingway's (this is also where I met The Fox, as he is a 'frequent person' too). Even though they're rounding up their contract with the bar and are heading to the UK then back to Australia next month, we plan to keep in close contact. They're going to be performing with Sir Bob Geldof in Dubai in March though and are gonna hook me and The Fox up with some tickets (yay!). Big going away party happening on Wednesday for them. I can't tell you how much I love Nat though. She is the first friend I've made here who's on my level, especially sartorially, and it's such a shame that we only started really chatting a month ago. She's been throwing these amazing clothing pieces my way since she's moving and we've been prowling the dirty back streets for disturbingly cheap, exquisite vintage handbags, and scoring like gangstas! She is the reason I've decided to start my pretty things business...collecting rock star one of a kind pieces all over the world and throwing viewing parties wherever I please - maybe even London a few times! So keep an ear out! (and yes, I will show you what we found...next time)

3) Risko over at the SRC783 Blog getting creative with her bad self.

3a) Isn't Risko THE BEST fucking name ever? Anyway, since mine means shit in Arabic, I'm gonna go with Idole now.

4) TOPPA TOP! Hanneli spotted this girl being too cool for this motherfuckin' planet! GIRL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!

4a) So hold up...I DID the septum piecing. I DID the long brightly coloured braid. Why can't I have it this together?? FACK! I need to do some styling, hit up our building's rooftop and strike embarassing poses with my Olympus on timer. Still working up the guts to be this loser-ish.

5) Some girl on The Cobrasnake doing a really good job wearing a long plaid dress in the style of Rayanne Graff on My So Called Life! GAHHH!!!! And can we have a moment of silence for the dusty cotton candy coloured hair trend of late?

5a) After a 2-week trial at a local mag where I interviewed fun-deprived teenagers, flambouyantly gay filipinos-cum-friends and bus drivers, reviewed 5 star restaurants, pestered the ministry of health for more info on the country's newly enforced smoking ban (hooray!) and pretended to be professional as I was scrubbed down and masaged by an overly patient spa therapist, I've been offered a permanent position with them! As excited as I was to continue living that life a week ago, now that I've just shaken hands with the editor, I'm getting cold feet. Dream job aside, do I really want to be a suited up, weighed down 9-5er?

...and on a side note, I ranted about face paint inspo on Bitching and Junkfood recently too, not to mention you GOTTA see this.

I COULD TRANSFORM YOU

2010-01-17T17:00:00.004Z

Sheer boredom resulted in an account on Looklet. These are my first two looks but stay tuned if you likey..although I can't guarantee that I'll stay interested long enough.

STANDING ON THE SHORE

2010-01-17T16:52:00.004Z

Sorry but...

...a show of hands for those who think a Gaga/Empire of the Sun collab is imminent?! It SHOULD be at least.

THEY WILL SEE US WAVING FROM SUCH GREAT HEIGHTS

2010-01-17T16:28:00.005Z

So Fox and I have made a decision to celebrate our birthdays all month so on our last days of work he borrowed his bro's car, picked me up and we sped off to Dubai, clubbed like house rats, checked out asian chicks, got drunk, talked a pile of bullshit, listened to gangsta rap, passed out and woke up in this really nice hotel with a sick view of the Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world. *SIGH* my life...

So I guess we're dating (minus a label). It's been fun...laying on the beach for 2 days straight, drinking Corona, teaching each other stupid phrases in our respective languages. But Panda hasn't been too far from my mind either...

Panda and I talked for hours this morning and the complete sick-in-the-head losers we are, we came up with this plan to get 2 t-shirts printed in bulk to sell to you. One saying Team Panda and one Team Fox. When Fox becomes more of a regular on here, I'll set up a paypal account and you'll be able to choose which 'animal' you like more, then order and sport their respective t-shirt. Panda and I will share the proceeds. Sounds like a plan?

I THINK I'm just kidding...we'll see.

I WANT YOUR HORROR, I WANT YOUR DESIGN

2010-01-15T18:04:00.003Z

How many people are looking this sinisterly good right now? LOVES IT doesn't even cover it. Time to step up my game. I had a similar flowing garment once but drunkenly left it in the cloakroom at a club in London one night.

PLEASE TEACH ME GENTLE HOW TO BREATHE

2010-01-09T18:45:00.006Z

New twiggy thing just popped up on the Corniche for the new year.

I really try to go all out on the weekends now obviously because it's all you've really got left once you become a 9-5er. So today involved waterfront cycling, yoghurt, cheesy apocalyptic movies, writing, interviews with interesting people, Arabic lessons, deep conversations at Starbucks and wine (and with all that, I even decided not to go to a house party).

Go all the fuck out on your weekends, people. We're all about to die!

IT TASTES EVEN BETTER WHEN IT SMELLS LIKE DANGER

2010-01-08T20:18:00.010Z

Over the past 2 days I...
*taught someone how to use chopsticks

*learned that my name pretty much means 'shit' in Arabic (except spelt slightly differently)

*learned how to say 'eat shit' in Arabic as a result of this (kol khara)

*received 2 free midori-infused shots from the manager at a restaurant I helped review a few days ago

*felt bad and hid under a bowler hat at first from him because my co-worker who wrote the final review gave it a 5/10, which was released in print that same morning

*borrowed money

*blasted a taxi driver for faking that his metre didn't work and got him to turn it on

*got my hair done

*discussed the true meaning of happiness with Fox in Burger King while 50 Cent's 'birthday' song played in the background for some kid's party

*blew out a birthday candle

*forgot to make a wish

*was mentioned in the same sentence with Rihanna TWICE by 2 different people regarding how I look

*found an awesome store that sells septum piercing jewelry and ACTUALLY ran into a no-joke-smokin' guy with the same piercing (VERY strange occurrence here) looking to buy some in an emergency as well.

*was checked out at a club by a group of white guys, one of which was a co-worker who didn't recognise me (pretty sure it was him especially after receiving an important doc from him today that started off 'I hope you're having a good weekend!')

*had a watermelon martini

*saw a 3 car accident while coolly sitting in starbucks and scraping my name into a piece of furniture

*did not get drunk!

*rolled over in bed and thought 'what the fuck am I doing?'

*got burned by deoderant?

*listened to Shakira's 'Did It Again' more than I would like to admit

*told an awful truth

*had a conversation in Tagalog!

*was given the nickname Tokyo (was nearly donned 'Lee')

*discussed sex with my mother

*got a glass of red wine knocked out of my hand at a club and had it spill all over this girl, and just quietly walked away

*massacred some major Italian carbs then felt bad and scurried upstairs for a 12 mile cycle

*unintentionally wore a new Topshop sweater with a panda on it (honestly not bought because of ex boyf Panda but because cute) when I went to visit Fox (yikes?)

GAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!??????

I turn 21 on Sunday...

TAKE A SABBATICAL

2010-01-06T20:58:00.005Z

I was seriously going to stay true to my resolution of posting more of my style by posting today's office wear but then Nadia and Cam of DI$COUNT uploaded this amazing dress-up sequence...

SIGHS ALL AROUND!

PS. Speaking of other people's style, did a new KC post finally...on man style. OOH! AND LOOK! New Patti Smith news!

G.N.X.

2010-01-06T18:44:00.009Z

[EDIT: Really not sure what I was on at the time of writing this but clearly hadn't followed instructions so I fixed the bastard because I'm a diligent blogger like that]

9 currents:

mood: fucking battered after work..

taste: some sort of sauteed fishy thing that is sooo good right now, and mint green tea.

clothes: black fitted Gap tshirt I wore to work today and some black yoga pants.

desktop: on the family PC, which my brother haunts so...sad to say, Tottenham Hotspur logos everywhere!

nail color: yesterday's peeling black is today's sleek white. Hate that one of my expenses has become fucking nails...times seriously change...

surroundings: steaming teacup, ipod, camera, lurking paternal grandmother..

annoyance(s): not getting much done in a space of 8 hours at work and having absolutely tight-as-virgin-pussy deadlines, and, as a result, having ulcers the night before them...but they do pay off I guess.

thoughts: sexyness, generally

8 Favorites:

color: black, gold, white, grey, purple, neon pink, neon orange, chanel nail polish green right now, I guess...

food: sake sashimi and unagi, basically...

book: The Buddha of Suburbia by Hanif Kureishi. But I'm hoping Kafka on the Shore by Murakami will impress because Becks has been strongly recommending it for ages and I finally got hold of a copy.

sport: Oooohhh, well one thing I love about working for a mag is the rush of research and new knowledge and I learned today that Abu Dhabi actually has pole dancing classes under the name 'Vertical Flex' and I have to say...it's very much in my budget, if you know what I mean.

season: Spring in London; any day during the months of December and April in Abu Dhabi; the rainy season in Trinidad

day of the week: depends on what's happening, doesn't it? Dunno about you, but my days aren't redundant, which is why I love freelancing.

ice-cream flavor: rose or saffron and pistachio persian ice creaaammm!!!! Or green tea, which I had on Sunday while reviewing Sho Cho.

time of day: evening or ridonculously early morning (when I'm not working, cuz otherwise that means I haven't slept well)

7 firsts:

best friend: Kylieeeee!!! This painfully scrawny half black half portuguese chick with really long hair who went to convent school with me. We realised we were the only people in class who listened to rock and just hit it off from there, obvs.

kiss: To this scrawny half indian half white kid I was quite good friends with. He was obsessed with Blind Guardian and introduced me to one of my favourite goth metal bands back in the day (Lacuna Coil). He wanted to ask me on a date for ages apparently. We finally went on one to a movie. We knew this kiss was going to happen the whole time so we went to watch the Yu-Gi-Oh movie so we wouldn't waste a perfectly decent movie by NOT watching it. The ticket came with one of the playing cards...WISH I still had it. He said I kissed weird because he didn't know it was my first kiss. People always assume I've done a lot more than I have...it's interesting.

piercing: All my friends got their ears pierced when they were babies except me so once I turned 12 I became obsessed and started piercing myself at the mall something like...once a month. Obviously addicted, I've since had a lip piercing (now gone) and a septum piercing (still pretty fresh - still love it). And, as you know, I'm considering doing one nipple.

crush: Hmmm this boy called Jesse from primary school. He bullied me though and didn't like me but as time went by, we became quite cool with each other because I always had the best CDs, which I brought in for class parties. Later on we all went off to separate high schools and in his 2nd year or so, I heard he was hit by a car. He died and that was pretty much devastating - first death I had ever experienced. I wrote a short screenplay on the subject once for screenwriting class...hope I can find that thing again...would be interesting to read.

music: Spice Girls!!

car: eh...

6 lasts:

food: fish

drink: mint green tea

kiss: can't remember, but not too long ago (I shall call him Fox - urggh...unfortunate animal theme getting started, but he actually has a fox tattooed on his stomach)

song played: Nirvana's 'Heartshaped Box'

show watched: This ridonculous cartoon called Chowder...sorta Spongebob-ish, really, but more oddly adult.

5 have you ever(s):
Dated one of your best friends: yup..I have a record, actually.
Broken the law: nope

Been arrested: nope, sorry.

Skinny dipped: I am really actually hoping to do this this year...in another country, of course. Also want to visit a nude beach.

Been on tv: yeah...for things like performing as a violinist at concerts in Trinidad though...can't remember what else...maybe swimming? OH! I was also style spotted at some party back home...wearing a rasta hat and a bunch of other shit. I never saw the video though, only heard about it :(

4 things:

you did last night: saw The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus, drank some free drinks at a bar, went to another Chinese prostitute-heavy bar, admired this one pro's billiards skills and was told that she does tattoos (considered it and decided against it in future as am not remotely partial to hepatitis).

you can hear right now: drums, guitar, bass, vocals

you’ve done today: slaved in an office, drank coffee, slept, flirted via text

you do when you’re bored: sleep mostly, call my ex, drink tea, snoop around facebook and get even more bored doing that

3 people:

you can tell anything to:

Panda

Syam

Mistress Ivy

2 choices:

black or white: depends, darling

hot or cold: really? this is stupid

1 wish:

happiness

LEANT BACK, FLIPPED OUT

2010-01-04T19:42:00.007Z

UMMMM YES, PLEASE, AND THANK YOU! Top bitch M is bringing these babies to Bitching and Junkfood soon!

Good shit from the KTZ SS2010 collection (found some great pics here of her On/Off show). And you know I'm wetting myself because I posted about the very similar Gwendolyn Huskens' graduate footwear collection way back when (can't be arsed to find it)...

...but I'm also anxious as fuck to see the price tag on the KTZs when they do arrive...

Anyway, not that my latest B&J posts could ever top this, but they're here and here in case you cared (OH! I forgot...maybe the second post can!!! VERY yum, but tragic that I can't have any of it)

LOST FUR

2010-01-04T19:33:00.004Z

Currently...

BREATHING TO THE BEAT, CALLING ALL THE LIFE FORMS

2010-01-04T19:20:00.003Z

January track of the day...

Been smearing on white face paint myself.

EIGHT DAYS A WEEK

2010-01-01T13:46:00.006Z

LAST NIGHT! WOW! Like..what did you get up to? Anyways this is me stirring this afternoon.

I've really taken to cat ears since not being able to get over how cute Jessica Stam looks in that one Nina Ricci perfume ad?

So it's going to be part of my 'signature' accessories collection this year (fuck, I'm seriously turning into an anime character)

MUMMYYYY!!!! I know a lot of people go partying at some club with friends and make out with strangers in plaid shirts while sloshing Pabst/Red Stripe all over everyone for their NYEs but I honestly prefer being with my fam for it (well, this time the bro and sis hit up that Rihanna concert, which I heard was a snore). We used to throw the biggest parties back home on our lawn for hundreds of people and wear fancy dresses and drink champagne and light fireworks - I miss that...

DRUNKENNESS!!! It's so nice to see her happy again because her mother died on Boxing Day and I've been nursing her and trying to make her laugh with back to back Little Britain (Rest In Peace, Mama - we love you)

Outfit deets...(and speaking of...one of my bloggerly NY resolutions is to post more of what I wear because I've always been intimidated by that since there are so many straight fashion bloggers out there doing stellar jobs already. I don't like to think of this blog as strictly fashion but I do think it would make it more homey and personal if you saw more of me, yeah? I'll try.)

My dress cost 25. American. cents. at. this. gay. people's. yard. sale. and. my. mother. doesn't. want. you. to. know. that. but. what. kind. of. blogger. would. I. be. if. I. didn't. share. that. wackness?

HAPPY NEW YEAR AND ALL THE BEST WITH YOUR RESOLUTIONS! About to go write in my new journal, discuss business plans, eat leftover salmon and re-play last night. Love you all.

PS. Apologies to anyone who was offended by the 'thinspo' reference in my last post, but honestly I'm not in the blogosphere to support/mock/help any anorexics/bulimics (I was pro-ana AND ana myself back in the day and I know that trying to help someone who doesn't want to be helped is useless so do what you like, I don't care). What I really want to say, in the nicest way possible, is that in my personal space, I say it like it is and those photos were honestly inspiration for me to maintain skinny-ness. But...for what it's worth, ANOREXIA/BULIMIA IS BAD!

HEAVY, HEAVY, HEAVY

2009-12-28T18:35:00.005Z

Inspo & Thinspo full stop

Being such a lazy ass cut & paste blogger right now, I know. Very demotivated, unproductive and horny these days but I'm hoping the arrival of 2010 should sock me in the gut or something...

So anyways, this is a really good fucking blog and it literally just started up, so go away...but come back soon.

PATCHIN' THAT SHIT UP

2009-12-26T15:35:00.003Z

So I got a lot of great gifts this year; things I actually didn't know I was getting too (which is rare). But one thing I expect to receive from my parents without fail every year is some sort of self-help book or two. It's fascinating.

So this time around I got 3:
-The 5 Essential People Skills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others, and Resolve Conflicts (honestly, I think my dad and I should go through this one together)
-God Explained in a Taxi Ride (I admire their persistence with this God thing, really)
and Skinny Bitchin'

which I picked out myself, of course. I've read their other bitchy books and learned a lot of really good bitchy stuff about being skinny and cooking skinny, so now that I'm skinny, I figured I needed to learn how to work it, so I put this in my skinny stocking. It's like an annotated journal chock full of skinny bitch advice. Let me share some:

Know this and be okay with it: Not everyone is going to like you.

Feeling sorry for yourself? Have at it. Bask in your misery for a solid fifteen minutes. But then get it together and cut the shit! Life's too short. Deal with what's ailing you and put it behind you.

Are you a pussy? Stand up for yourself today. Are you a bully? Be gentle today.

Get your fat ass off the couch and go to the gym, go for a hike, or go ride a bike. Push yourself today (in a healthy, safe way)

If you are or have ever been a doormat, journal about it. By the time you're done writing you better be a fucking goddess!

You know that guy you've been obsessing over for 3 years who's just not that into you? He's an axe murderer. So thank the universe for looking out for you and move on. Make a list of all the things you know suck about him (but were unwilling to admit yourself).

Seriously, by far, the coolest thing about Madonna: She does whatever the fuck she wants and never apologizes for it. Find your inner Madonna today and see how long you can keep her around.

Are you estranged from a family member or friend? Write down what happened to cause the rift from your side, then approach it from his or hers. Then ask yourself: "Is it more important for me to be right than to be at peace?" If the answer is yes, you're a jackass. Patch that shit up!

YOU CAN NEVER BE SURE WHO YOU'RE GONNA END UP NEXT TO

2009-12-26T14:17:00.004Z

Hi.
I had a shockingly good Christmas.
I smell of Virginia Slims and boy.
Also, in the morning...

...I made feeble attempts to test this shit out. I'm gonna let it tangle and rot and hopefully I'll soon have one very cute dreadlock. I've been very inspired by neon, braiding, and fictional tribal existences like Pandora in the movie Avatar, so my 2010 style is coming together to that effect...with the ever present black, leather, sheer and drapey bits, but also with more epaulets and S&M. Approach if you dare and I'll probably shoot you then lick the gun.

Anyway I'm going to start collecting daggers like I always wanted to as a child. I'll probably also try to learn Arabic, lose more weight, stick to this no-carb thing as long as possible, get a job at a magazine, find great guilt-free sex, start working on my two business projects and be very very smoking fucking hot. New Year's Resolutions, anyone?

Oh, and to make up for the last post, these two songs are seriously stuck:

Seriously...no one can touch Juliette!